How Long will I be Ill.

[Sweetest1]

What a great thread this is!

At my last Pdoc appointment, I had yet another med change ::sigh:: And she gave me the paperwork she had filled out for my employers. She wrote on it that I may never be able to return to work there. Then she looked me in the eye and said "You have to start to accept the possibility that you won't work again". I'm raging over that right now. Ummm no, can't accept that one! Just because I can't seem to find "stable", have never had a pdoc appointment in 2 years where there wasn't a med change, can't keep my house clean and my chores done, order dinner in at least twice a week, and can't concentrate well enough to read most days, DOES NOT mean I'll never be able to go back to work. I just need a little more time. Right??
It was like being told I'll never get better, or this is as good as it gets, which she said wasn't the case, just that she didn't think I'd be able to tolerate that level of stress anymore.
It's a bitter pill to swallow, and I'm not sure I can do it!
I suppose in time I'll either have to accept it or prove her wrong. I'm hoping for the latter.

[A.E.V.]

I've never had my pdoc tell me I can't ever work, but when he filled in my insurance papers yesterday he wrote clearly that I am not ready to go back to do any kind of work - not just in the field I was in.
so I agree with you Rebecca, it is a bitter pill to swallow!

you and I are going through similar situations. hopefully for both of us, things will look up SOON!

until then, we might as well work on getting better, instead of worrying about getting back to work.

[astronaut]

Wow, I can't believe your pdoc told you that you may never be able to work again Sweetest1. What a thing to say!
Hey, have either you or Anne thought about volunteering? When I couldn't work, I actually did some volunteer work a couple times a week. It was good for me because it forced me out of the house and it made me feel less guilty for doing nothing (I get that way). Sometimes it just feels good to help out in the community a bit. You feel more productive and it was a good way for me to slowly work back into the social world again from my isolated, depressed state. Usually many volunteer places are very accomodating to disabilities too! Of course, I don't know what your illnesses are doing right now so I can't know how feasible that is for you. -And you know, there were times too when I was scheduled to go in and I had to call in sick because of withdrawl or some annoying thing like that, and they were cool with it and I never even had to tell people what was wrong!

And Jennisk, I know what you're saying with the perfectionist thing. It really holds me back sometimes. I am often in denial about my illness but sometimes, when I consider how much less I can do now than I could do in my early years of university, I can see how I do have an illness. It isn't for lack of trying that I can't think as well as I used to--it is because my brain just doesn't work!

hang in there friends,

And Sweetest1, I totally know what you mean about the not being able to read thing. I think that hurts the most because I used to be such an avid reader.

astronaut

[paul m]

Hello All. I agree that it is very frustrating not to be able to go back to work or to do the things that we used to do. It's also really tough when the doctor tells you that you can't work and may never work again. I haven't worked in years and my age is becoming a factor as well. However that doesn't mean that I still don't hope to go back to work some day. Nor does it mean that I am useless to society and to those around me.

The hardest single part for me is not knowing what the future will bring. By accepting that I will have a future and that I will enjoy it is part of what keeps me going.

Accepting my illness and the limitations it puts on me is very different than saying that I can't work towards goals and that my current level of disability is permanent or as good as it gets. Anne said well when she said:""until then, we might as well work on getting better, instead of worrying about getting back to work. "" Take Care. paul m

[jennisk]

Astronaut, Wise advice about the volunteering, if you can manage it. And Paul makes good points about dealing with the unknown.