Rehabilitating to head back to work

[jgcr]

I have been on work Dissability for a few months now and have been struggling with my medications. My Blue Cross is setting me up for rehabilitation to go back to work. Apparently the information they requested from my doctor makes them think that my bipolar is under control. I believe my manic episodes are more or less in control, but the depression, I am still very much struggling with. We are still playing guinea pig with my medication, I am still dealing with side effects, which for some reason every medication i try seems to take it's toll on me. I don't believe I am ready to go back, and my doctor makes sure that I see him either every week or every 2 weeks to follow me closely. If I were doing better, wouldn't I not have to see him so often? If I were doing better, wouldn't I not have suicidal thoughts still? Wouldn't I feel ready instead of terrified of failing again because I can't handle the stress and my emotions? I don't know what to think about this and I'm feeling like I have NO choice but to do this.... I'm feeling like I'm backed in a corner and being told, "ok, it's been long enough, you should be fine now, so you're going back". I just don't feel fine.... has anyone been in a position like this? How did you approach it? what was the turn out? Thanks

[George]

I hear what you're saying. Although I've not been in a similar situation you need to understand that Blue Cross wants you to be working and unless you're doctors say you cannot, then you'll need to go back to work. It's up to your doctors. Mental illness is the invisible disease. It's a shame that it is this way isn't it.
Try you're best one day at a time!
Insurance companies hate mental illness. I sometimes think it would be easier to have a visible illness that can be pysically seen.
It is what it is.
Sorry if I couldn't be any help to you.

[Fighting back]

Danger, danger Will Robinson! (picture my robotic arms flailing).

Got into a remarkably similar conversation a few months back. First of all, best not to name any names as far as the insurers go. They are remarkably fickle and it's best to avoid anything that may predispose them against dealing with your condition. This is not a privacy concern, just don't poke the bears.

Now, I have been in a similar circumstance, but I would not go so far as to suggest my solution to anyone else. I had a reasonable pension pending and I was in a position to take that pension, although this has put quite a crimp into my retirement plans in that it is now a struggle to survive vs. what could have been a comfortable retirement. I retired early in lieu of pursuing a long term disability claim. I did go on short term disability twice in my last year of employment.

Now, are you currently on STD or LTD benefits? My experience was the STD benefits were structured to meet the needs of someone who would be returning to work. Every plan will have it's unique rules, but the one I was on gave you 90 days on STD, (funded by the company) and LTD benefits after that, (funded by the insurer). Now, these benefits work the same way for a physical injury or illness as they do for a mental disability. During the STD period, you will be on a plan that assumes you will be returning to work. Every effort will be made to rehabilitate you. I gave it my best and went along with the return to work plan, but I relapsed within 6 months. One point that I felt was fairly obvious is that when the conditions brought the external insurer into play, the scrutiny became much closer. The insurer is looking after their bottom line and having you on disability payments is contrary to their financial health.

Your best defense is to maintain a close rapport with your doctor and have a clear and concise discussion about exactly how you will deal with the insurer. I can guarantee the insurer will interpret anything said to their advantage and believe me, they are keeping notes. You should do the same.

Now, if dealing with a disability claim sounds stressful, yes it is. I felt the stress was not helping me to deal with depression, so I made the choice to abandon the claim. It does not mean I am cured, or that I was faking anything, it just was an option I chose to exercise.

Do I think I was treated fairly? well, by my employer, yes, by the insurer no, but dealing with that would have made my condition worse. I am happy to say, my decisions have made the situation manageable. I don't dwell on it.

[uni]

Hello jgcr. Yes, I have been in a similar situation when I was off work due to depression.

I agree with George that it's up to our doctors. The insurance companies prefer that you don't stay off work very long because it costs them money. So when it comes right down to it, rightly or wrongly, it's the doctors who have the say.

In my case, what I did was have a heart to heart talk with my pdoc so he knew exactly where I was coming from and how I simply wasn't well enough to return to work. He disagreed, insisting I was well enough. Then he suggested I see a different pdoc and made arrangements for me (and my files) to go the new one right away.

The new one was less frustrated with me (I'd been nothing but headaches and paperwork to the first) and took me more seriously. He then backed me up on the return-to-work issue. For some reason (there are earth angels!) he got right on it, communicating with both the insurance people and my employer and telling them I needed more time. Later on, he and I and my employer agreed on a gradual return-to-work plan, starting with a few hours a week and working up until I was back full time.

So that's my story of what a doctor who takes you seriously can do for you. Maybe yours will take you seriously if you explain your side of things clearly and share how you feel. Then he can go to bat for you.

Btw I'm assuming your doctor is a psychiatrist and not a G.P. (family doctor). If a G.P., then asking him to refer you to a psychiatrist may make the difference. If you're not ready, you're not ready, and nobody but yourself can judge that for sure.

[jamesb59]

You are not alone. The reasons for my long term disability was Extreme depression due to Workplace bullying and Toxic environment which also lead to minor heart attacks. I was returned without notice by my own union and my position was changed from Data to Data/receptionist where I was not aloud to talk to anyone, needed permission to go to the washroom etc. and my wage was knocked down by a 1.50 per hour. I took 4 years to prove my college credentials but my employer "found out" I was 3 credit short of my Grade 12 even though I was excepted into college under a Metis initiative. I was forced to work for 12 dollars less my rate until I completed my GED which I have done. Now working as an Administration assistant at this rate until they decide whether or not my GED is up to code and if I can be accommodated since my former position was given to my supervisors friend. It is unfortunate at this time in order to deal with the insaneness I must stay off my antidepressants. This, of course, has another danger, stress related Heart attack. I am on a waiting list which could be 2 more years for a triple bypass. I have gained strength here because I know I am not alone. Word of advise document everything and make your Doctor understand your concerns and tell him/her everything.

[AJ]

I like Uni had a psychiatrist that knew how to deal with insurance companies and filled out the paperwork in a way that the insurance company did not give me any grief. Mind you she charged me $150 for doing it which the insurance wouldn't pay. I called my case worker regularly to give her updates. Now that was hard to do not feeling well.

My second psychiatrist that I still see is the one that helped me get on CPP disability. Again I was fortunate in that she did the paperwork to their satisfaction, and apparently so did I because I did get approved. It was hard to acknowledge being at the point that I could no longer work but a relief to get some financial assistance.

[jgcr]

thanks for all the feedback. I'm on Long Term Disability and have been for just about a year now, unfortunately, all our medication/treatment trials so far have failed with my bipolar. We are still doing the guinea pig thing and trying new meds. I am being followed by my Pdoc religiously every 2 weeks for the past couple months and the next couple months, to be reviewed then. I'm sure the very slow progress is probably not what my Pdoc expected, and I'm sure he may be frustrated with me at times, but he seems to really be trying to help me so far. He makes sure to follow me closely.
I had a visit today from a rehabilitation person from the insurance and she was actually nice... but talking to her, made her and myself realize just how not ready I was to go back. I knew i wasn't ready, but I didn't fully realize to what extend. She realized that some of my case worker's notes just didn't reflect my actual current state. So i guess, it was a good meeting. I was scared she was going to show up and just judge me and make this plan to get back to work that I just could not follow. Instead, as she realized how little progress I have made, she decided to keep making baby steps. I guess that's a good thing. So far, she says I still have my job waiting for me. The question is, will I be able to return to it, or have to either not go back, have my work accomodate a position for me, which they only have to do to a certain extent. That's a bit scary too. I guess, this makes the future very uncertain. Just one more thing we have to think and worry about.
I appreciate all of your comments... sometimes just reading about peoples experiences, can help you realize some things you can do, or should have done.

[uni]

Hello jgcr. I'm glad to hear that your meeting went ok. It sounds like your rehab person now has a realistic take on your situation. Hopefully this takes some of the worry away, and gives you time to breathe.