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How do we help a person who seems to be bi-polar or uni-polar?

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    How do we help a person who seems to be bi-polar or uni-polar?

    We are a family of 4 sisters. Our late mother was bi-polar. She took medication for one year and we were blessed with having our old Mom again. Then sadly, she refused to take anymore medication. It was a hell of a like for all of us!

    Now, one of our sisters shows all the signs of being bi-polar. This started many years ago. The big problem is that she won’t admit it. She refuses any medical help. She is now 77 years old, divorced and lives on her own with her beloved cat. No one including her children wants to see her or speak to her. We cannot deal with her manic episodes, which have become more frequent as she ages. She won’t let go of the past, always talking about the bad things that happened to her many years ago. She puts everyone down. She depends on monthly financial support from her family as she cannot afford to live on her basic pension. We are not rich and don’t know how much longer we can send her money. Whenever we mention this to her, she insists that she will get a job in the fashion industry. When she was young, she was a model. To this day, all she cares about are her looks! And who supports this false vanity? We do! We paid thousands of dollars for dental care and since then has broken a front tooth. But, because she is so manic she won’t go back to the dentist. Even the so-called professionals don’t want to deal with her. She insults everyone!

    She once lived in my sister’s home and that was a complete disaster! One night, my sister called the cops and she was put in jail. She ended up living on the streets in a big city. We never want that to happen again. The only solution that we can think of is to have her live with family again. But, that can never happen if she won’t take medication to control her mania. We try to approach this topic in a gentle manner, reminding her that Mom was manic depressive. She immediately reacts by saying “we are the crazy ones”. We just don’t know what to do. Is there any hope? Can anyone give us guidance so that we can have our get our sister back in our lives? We miss her, love her very much and want her in our family again.

    Thank you!

    #2
    Hello WhiteRose (I love your name, by the way). How very frustrating and heart wrenching it must be for you in dealing with your sister. It's tough when a loved one's illness seems to be getting worse instead of better.

    I wish there was an easy solution to the situation with your sister. I have an older sister who I (Doctor Uni haha) wouldn't be surprised has had bipolar disorder all her life, so I can relate somewhat, but not totally. What jumps out at me from your post is that your sister's adult children don't want to see or speak to her. I'm wondering if you have a relationship or communication with them. That could make a difference in working things out.

    Meanwhile, from reading your posts in another thread I understand that it's important for you to look after your own well being here. Things usually look less bleak if you're feeling a little better yourself.
    uni

    ~ it's always worth it ~

    Comment


      #3
      Thank you Doctor Uni ha-ha. Every day I checked my messages and came to the site to see if I got a response, but NADA. I don’t understand why I wasn’t alerted of your message.

      I know that it’s important to take care of my own health. I remember way back when a psychiatrist asked me “how many problems would you have if you didn’t worry about people’s problems”? He also told me that I had to learn to be selfish. Wow that is easier said than done! The other day, my aunt called me she talked about another member of my family (something like - poor woman who has such responsibilities). Being so-called selfish, I got very aggravated and said that I found that hearing about that member again was becoming very annoying. She lashed back and said “where is your heart”? This really peeves me off! As I write about this I am again getting agitated. So I cannot win if I try to be selfish. I am considered a cold, rotten person!

      Without finding a resolve for my sister (I’ll refer to her as Marie), we will never stop worrying about the situation. As I stated in my post, she depends on monthly financial support from her family. We cannot afford to go on with this! Marie expects the support, as she feels that we are so-called rich!

      Years ago, when my sister was on the streets, I wrote to her children (sons). I’ll refer to her as Marie. Their reaction was to cut me off! They cannot and will not take her insults. Over the years, they have been asked to help her financially, but we’re lucky if one pays her telephone bill. And they can afford to help some way. I live in Quebec. My other 2 sisters live in Ontario, 1-2 hours away from Marie. One is reluctant to address the problem with the sons for fear that they will also disown her. The other sister is willing to have a meeting with the sons to discuss the situation. But everyone procrastinates and this whole darn mess just keeps going on and on and on……

      Anyway, I was also hoping that one of the members who is bi-polar can relate. Perhaps at first, they didn’t want to acknowledge that they had a disorder and someone tried to intervene and….

      Again, thanks Uni. I wish I could cover my head for days and forget about everyone!

      The site keeps throwing me out. How can I prevent this? Last week, I was responding to someone's post and it also happened. I wrote to the admin, but no response. TY

      Comment


        #4
        WhiteRose your note to admin did not get received for some reason. One thing you can do is to tick off the option to stay logged in. It's at the top right where you log in. It might help.

        I have been kicked out on occasion. I usually copy my post (highlight and R click) just in case it disappears. If this is happening to you a lot, let me know. You can post here or PM me.
        AJ

        Humans punish themselves endlessly
        for not being what they believe they should be.
        -Don Miguel Ruiz-

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          #5
          Thank you AJ

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