How do I get out of mind games?

[AJ]

I have friends that always bring a game with them when they come over. I HATE games. I rarely understand the concept of the game without a lot of effort. I can't keep track of numbers or cards, and I certainly can't add them in my head. I used to be able to do all that before I got sick, but not now. It's one of the many things I just can't do anymore.

They all think it's fun and easy! If I hear that word easy again I'm going to scream! One of them has a BA (bad attitude) about mental illness. Out of my own self preservation I have not shared my illness with them. This one wasn't even a game that needed partners but I still felt obliged to play.

Why can't people excuse you when you say that you're not much for games? I don't want them to not play because of me, so I struggle through it feeling like an idiot.

Maybe I just need to tell them I'll watch, and if they decide not to play because of me, that's their choice. Of course then I'm the party pooper!

Okay I'm done my rant. Thanks for reading.

[paul m]

Hello AJ. I can sympathize with you. I love certain games and I hate other ones. I used to love to play card games and I have no problem figuring out what the odds are , what cards remain in the deck etc, however I had to give up playing card games because I as I got older and perhaps as my illness worsened I couldn't take it when 1) people cheated (table talk, glancing at your hand if you didn't keep it covered or deliberately playing a wrong card and 2) I started to find out that a lot of people are really lousy losers. I have enough hassle in my life without someone getting upset just because I happen to be on a winning streak that day.

In regards to board games, about the only one I play is chess and only if fairly quick time limits are set per move. (and sometimes checkers). Don't even think of asking me to play trivia pursuit or charades. But then I'm sometimes known as a grouch LOL.

I have no problem sitting and looking on and taking part in any conversation, but when I get told " we need a fourth to play cribbage or something I just say no thanks, you'll just have to play 3 handed.

Do you need an excuse not to play? My wife never plays cards(she hates playing cards and always has) , rarely plays any board games and if she is really bored may challenge me to a game of Yahtzee. She never apologizes for not playing, she just says no thanks. When questioned why she just sez sorry it's not my thing or words to those effect.

I can't say what you should say, but you might try saying something like " Sorry, I find that as I get older games aren't as much fun as they used to be" and leave it at that. If pressed you could add "I don't know why, I guess my interests have changed over the yrs" Good Luck and Take Care. paul m

[AJ]

Thanks for the suggestions Paul. You're right, I don't owe an explanation but your suggestions might help to get me off the hook.

[Jafar the wizard]

A J
Thanks for sharing this ( board games ordeal story ) with us ..
trust me .. you're not the only one who hates being invited to play board games ..
i personally like some board games & card games .. but I know a lot of people who don't ..
..
more importantly .. you don't have to be mentally ill to hate games .. mental illness can be a reason.. but certainly not the only one ..

[Jafar the wizard]

By the way
the most important reason for playing any game is HAVING FUN .. if you can't enjoy it .. you can't play it ..

[AJ]

I agree Jafar, it should be fun!