How's it going? I'm 30 and bipolar. And I'm on a depressive swing.
I'm presently seeking professional counselling, since I'm not happy with my doctor, who doesn't seem to care about my issues.
Can I tell you my story?
My bipolar landed me in two criminal charges these past two years. I was discharged from both of them based on the condition I follow my doctor's counsel in how I treat my mental condition. This condition lead me to the hospital twice, before being released on extended leave from their psychiatric unit.
So I'm technically and legally obliged to follow my doctor's advice from Mental Health and the courts.
Where did it all begin?
My first bout of psychosis was at 21. It happened after leaving a family cult. My bout was ripe with delusion. My parents were worried and called Mental Health. I was diagnosed as bipolar for the first time.
For the next 7 years I was fine. Apart from a hiccup now and then, I did NOT experience the ups and downs of bipolar. Even my ex-girlfriend scorned the doctors who had diagnosed me as making a despicable misdiagnosis. How wrong she was.
Because at 28 is when everything blew up.
It started innocently enough. But it went down a very weird direction. I began thinking I had superhuman abilities for science and mathematics. I started hearing voices. Well you can imagine the rest. This lasted for over a year of raw mania.
But now I'm on a depressive streak, and have been for what seems like an eternity. I don't get any pleasure from anything! Anhemonia, it's called; severe.
So I'm at a loss. I think the drugs I'm being forced upon are causing this depression but I have no way to prove it. I feel powerless. I hate the way these drugs make you feel. I don't want to be manic, but I want to feel excited about something. I'm also experiencing the side effect of muscle weakness yet have to work a physically demanding job.
What do you do if you've lost your rights over your treatment, but hate the treatment being given?
I'm presently seeking professional counselling, since I'm not happy with my doctor, who doesn't seem to care about my issues.
Can I tell you my story?
My bipolar landed me in two criminal charges these past two years. I was discharged from both of them based on the condition I follow my doctor's counsel in how I treat my mental condition. This condition lead me to the hospital twice, before being released on extended leave from their psychiatric unit.
So I'm technically and legally obliged to follow my doctor's advice from Mental Health and the courts.
Where did it all begin?
My first bout of psychosis was at 21. It happened after leaving a family cult. My bout was ripe with delusion. My parents were worried and called Mental Health. I was diagnosed as bipolar for the first time.
For the next 7 years I was fine. Apart from a hiccup now and then, I did NOT experience the ups and downs of bipolar. Even my ex-girlfriend scorned the doctors who had diagnosed me as making a despicable misdiagnosis. How wrong she was.
Because at 28 is when everything blew up.
It started innocently enough. But it went down a very weird direction. I began thinking I had superhuman abilities for science and mathematics. I started hearing voices. Well you can imagine the rest. This lasted for over a year of raw mania.
But now I'm on a depressive streak, and have been for what seems like an eternity. I don't get any pleasure from anything! Anhemonia, it's called; severe.
So I'm at a loss. I think the drugs I'm being forced upon are causing this depression but I have no way to prove it. I feel powerless. I hate the way these drugs make you feel. I don't want to be manic, but I want to feel excited about something. I'm also experiencing the side effect of muscle weakness yet have to work a physically demanding job.
What do you do if you've lost your rights over your treatment, but hate the treatment being given?
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