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A good year or a bad one

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  • Jafar the wizard
    started a topic A good year or a bad one

    A good year or a bad one

    I've just logged in my account here after being away for almost a year .. and I'm not sure if I can finish writing this essay to the end .. I'm having a hard time struggling with a depressive episode for more than 2 weeks .. actually it might be even longer than that .. I can't remember .. but I'm a kind of person who learned a lot about myself during the past few years .. and I always try to say to myself : Don't worry .. it will soon pass .. it's just your bipolar .. it's just your brain .. it's not your fault ..

    ..

    It's taking a bit longer this time but I hate to be so negative.. I always make sure that I'm aware of the fact that I've been through much worse times .. and better times too ..

    ..

    2018 was a good year for me in general .. maybe the best since 2014 .. the three years in between were full of disappointment , frustration , rage & loneliness .. 2017 was the worst I had since 2009 ..

    ..

    I've been on ODSP since I got my approval in December 2017 .. and I have to admit that it was the number one factor in making my 2018 a good year ..

    ..

    I'm writing this because I need to boost my morale .. and only managing to complete writing this essay made me feel s bit better ..

    ..

    Now the question is : why am I feeling down ? .. why a new year ( 2019 ) would start with such a bad mood ? .. for almost a month ..

    I'm not sure .. honestly .. I don't think I can tell .. not yet at least ..

    If I manage to find an answer I'll try to write it down ..

    ..

    Enjoy the rest of your weekend, falks ..

  • paul m
    replied
    Good for you Jafar. Hopefully your optimism and happiness will last. Take Care, paul m

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  • Jafar the wizard
    replied
    Thank you for the wise nice words, Paul .. it's the last week of February now and I'm in a better shape for sure .. actually I'm full of energy and can't sleep sometimes .. but in general I'm happy and more optimistic now

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  • paul m
    replied
    Hello Jafar. Glad to see you are back. I have no idea either why sometimes a bad mood just springs up from nowhere. Take Care. paul m

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  • Jafar the wizard
    replied
    Hi A J
    ODSP does make a remarkable difference ..
    thank you for your nice words & I look forward to keep in touch ..

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  • AJ
    replied
    Well hello there Jafar. It's nice to hear from you. I agree with Uni. Sometimes it just doesn't make any 'sense'. I find that if I can figure out what is contributing to my current mood, I can sometimes make some changes that can be helpful. There are times that it's like trying to see thru the muck of life, and hanging on for the ride thru the bad turn is the best I can do.

    I'm glad to hear that getting on ODSP has made such a difference.

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  • Jafar the wizard
    replied
    Thank you Uni
    im feeling better today .. and yes you're right .. sometimes it's just unexplainable ..

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  • uni
    replied
    Good to hear from you Jafar! I'm glad 2018 was a better year for you. As to why 2019 would start with a bad mood, it could be any number of reasons, some situational, some physical, some seasonal, some purely unexplainable. I find that sometimes it's good to know so I can do something about it; and other times I just go with the flow until it passes. Hopefully you will find answers and start to feel better soon.
    Last edited by uni; February 3rd, 2019, 03:13 PM. Reason: spelling

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