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Every Spring

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  • Gossip
    started a topic Every Spring

    Every Spring

    For whatever reason, I have two very predictable meltdowns a year. April and October. I'm slowly unraveling and falling apart, so I think my April meltdown is early this year. So far it's not terrible, if this is as bad as it gets I'll be able to ride it out, but things seem to be slowly going in the wrong direction. I have a former mentor, who became a dear friend (when I say former mentor we were matched through my school's formal faculty-student mentorship program), who took a job at Ohio State. Before she left she gave me permission to contact her through the school if I ever needed to, but I know she's crazy busy so I've been trying to stay off her plate. But I think I need her very special kind of pep talk right now! I emailed her admin assistant last night, explaining who I was and asking for either her direct number or for her to call me. I know she'll be able to help me through this, even over the phone, but I could sure use one of her hugs!

  • Gossip
    replied
    At the time I most needed support, that cut pretty deeply! But another professor, who was also in an administrative role, rallied to my side with phenomenal support. She's no longer at my school, but I keep her updated by email. I haven't heard from her since emailing her last night, but I'm sure I've made her proud!

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  • AJ
    replied
    You sure did! What an awful thing to say to an aspiring student!

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  • Gossip
    replied
    Thank you all, we're now done lecture forever, and it feels incredible!! I thought it was extremely fitting that our last ever lecture was taught by the prof who looked me in the eye when I went on leave in 2015, and told me not to bother trying to come back... that I'd never make it and should set my sights lower. I think I proved my point!

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  • uni
    replied
    Gossip, you are truly amazing! You have reason to be proud! Congratulations on making it to the end of your program

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  • paul m
    replied
    Congrats Gossip. I'm sure that it wasn't easy. Take Care. paul m

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  • AJ
    replied
    Way to go Gossip. That's an amazing accomplishment!

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  • Gossip
    replied
    Thanks uni! I only have four days of lecture left in my entire program. I'm not done yet, after that I have a yearlong practicum, but it's still amazing to think how far I've come. I had a two year medical leave (for a bipolar relapse) between first and second years, too, and I'm the first student in the history of the school to come back and succeed after so much time away. It hasn't been easy, but I've done it and I'm darn proud!

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  • uni
    replied
    Sounds like things are looking up -- that is good news My fingers are crossed that things go well with the rest of your studies.

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  • Gossip
    replied
    I think I'm through the depression. Thankfully it never got really bad, so I think this new med combination might be a winner. Yesterday I repeatedly had the sensation of bugs crawling on me (there were no bugs) and I've been a bit sleep disrupted, but we're about to head into finals so I think it's just stress. I'll watch that. Trying to figure out how I only have four classroom days left in my program... it's happened so fast!

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  • Gossip
    replied
    Hi uni. Yes, I seem to have problems every spring and fall. It's usually quite predictably April and October, which isn't ideal as a student (midterms in the first semester and finals in the second). Emotionally I feel like I'm pulling out of it, but my sleep is still affected so I'm being careful. I think my meds might actually be holding, which is a new and exciting change if they are. I've been on many combinations, and nothing's held me even close to steady through spring and fall in years. I have 5 weeks left (2 weeks of classes, 2 weeks of exams, and 1 week off to move) before I start my year-long practicum, and not falling apart through that year would really be ideal!

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  • uni
    replied
    Hello Gossip. My psychologist and psychiatrist have both said that spring is notorious for increased cases of depression. My understanding is that it's related to the rapid change in the number of daylight hours, and our brains struggling to keep up. Makes sense to me. It also gives hope that a spring bout of depression is more likely to be self limiting. I hope you're managing ok.

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  • paul m
    replied
    Hello Gossip. I hope that your meds continue to hold. I know what it's like to slowly slide into a deep depression this time of year. Take Care. paul m

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  • Gossip
    replied
    Still riding out a low grade depression, but so far my meds seem to be holding. That's a nice change...!

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