A little about me: I'm a 29 year old female who has seen psychiatrists all her life. I've been diagnosed with panic disorder, agoraphobia, and generalized anxiety. Last time I saw a psychiatrist, I was 25. Of all the psychiatrists I've seen, bipolar disorder was never mentioned as being something I might have. I've taken fluoxetine twice in my life (for two years as a teenager and once in my mid-twenties). I never had any side effects.
What Happened:
My career is pretty hectic and when vacation started, I assumed I was feeling burnout. I had no appetite, felt hopeless, and lacked energy. I went to a clinic because my doctor was out and they prescribed Celexa for depression. I was supposed to start at 5mg and titrate up every two weeks. I started at 5mg and took it in the morning with food. The first couple of days, it made me feel emotional and nauseated. I also felt a bit woozy. I didn't sleep well the first night (nightmares) but slept well the second, third, and fourth night. The fifth day felt good. For once, I didn't have the crippling anxiety I usually have. I had a bit more energy (but not like...to the point where I was running around and doing a thousand things). But, I had enough energy to make appointments that I had lost the energy to make. I made a small budget for my grocery and household spending and I worked on my writing a little. Around mid-afternoon, I went to do the groceries and I was VERY happy to notice that driving didn't send me through an anxious tailspin. I went to the grocery store without panic and spent way less than I normally do. I went home and cooked dinner, sat with my wife and watched a movie. Around midnight I started to feel sleepy so I fell asleep. I woke up around 4AM with a TERRIBLE panic attack. My heart was racing, I wanted to cry, I felt like I was dying and started hyperventilating. Once it was over, I felt wide awake and couldn't get back to sleep. I started to get scared that I was having a bad reaction to the Celexa so I woke my wife up and told her to take me to the ER.
The doctor came in and asked what was wrong. I told her that I've been taking 5mg of Celexa for 5 days and that during the day I had no more anxiety and actually felt pretty good. I also told her that I felt my libido coming back because that day I made love with my wife for the first time in awhile. But, that I was worried because I woke up with a horrible panic attack and couldn't get back to sleep. Then, she said that feeling good after 5 days on Celexa and not being able to sleep means I'm having a manic or hypomanic episode and that I probably have Bipolar disorder. I started to cry because I felt overwhelmed and she left the room to "check what the protocol is". She then came back with a script for 300mg of seroquel, said it was for anxiety and Bipolar disorder, and gave me 50mg of it in the ER to help me sleep. I took it and went home. Slept well but felt terrible and foggy the next day. I looked it up online and it said seroquel is an antipyschotic with a ton of physical and cognitive side effects.
I asked my wife, past partners, friends, and parents if I've ever shown signs of being Bipolar and they said no but that I do have a lot of panic and anxiety issues. I didn't fill the seroquel prescription. I did discontinue the Celexa per the ER doctor's request. After stopping the Celexa (and once the seroquel wore off) I felt like my normal anxious self. Driving and grocery shopping suck again and I've had at least one panic attack per day which I quickly come down from once I cry it out and receive reassurance. Most of my panic attacks right now come from worrying that I'm Bipolar and that I'll have to take medications that dull my cognitive abilities. If I do that, I might as well kiss my career and home goodbye. My work is entirely cognitive and creative as I'm a professor and researcher.
I'm seeing my GP today and getting referred to a psychiatrist for proper diagnosis. Can someone reassure me that if I'm bipolar I can still be successful in my career even with harsh medications? Does this sound like I was really manic because of the Celexa?
What Happened:
My career is pretty hectic and when vacation started, I assumed I was feeling burnout. I had no appetite, felt hopeless, and lacked energy. I went to a clinic because my doctor was out and they prescribed Celexa for depression. I was supposed to start at 5mg and titrate up every two weeks. I started at 5mg and took it in the morning with food. The first couple of days, it made me feel emotional and nauseated. I also felt a bit woozy. I didn't sleep well the first night (nightmares) but slept well the second, third, and fourth night. The fifth day felt good. For once, I didn't have the crippling anxiety I usually have. I had a bit more energy (but not like...to the point where I was running around and doing a thousand things). But, I had enough energy to make appointments that I had lost the energy to make. I made a small budget for my grocery and household spending and I worked on my writing a little. Around mid-afternoon, I went to do the groceries and I was VERY happy to notice that driving didn't send me through an anxious tailspin. I went to the grocery store without panic and spent way less than I normally do. I went home and cooked dinner, sat with my wife and watched a movie. Around midnight I started to feel sleepy so I fell asleep. I woke up around 4AM with a TERRIBLE panic attack. My heart was racing, I wanted to cry, I felt like I was dying and started hyperventilating. Once it was over, I felt wide awake and couldn't get back to sleep. I started to get scared that I was having a bad reaction to the Celexa so I woke my wife up and told her to take me to the ER.
The doctor came in and asked what was wrong. I told her that I've been taking 5mg of Celexa for 5 days and that during the day I had no more anxiety and actually felt pretty good. I also told her that I felt my libido coming back because that day I made love with my wife for the first time in awhile. But, that I was worried because I woke up with a horrible panic attack and couldn't get back to sleep. Then, she said that feeling good after 5 days on Celexa and not being able to sleep means I'm having a manic or hypomanic episode and that I probably have Bipolar disorder. I started to cry because I felt overwhelmed and she left the room to "check what the protocol is". She then came back with a script for 300mg of seroquel, said it was for anxiety and Bipolar disorder, and gave me 50mg of it in the ER to help me sleep. I took it and went home. Slept well but felt terrible and foggy the next day. I looked it up online and it said seroquel is an antipyschotic with a ton of physical and cognitive side effects.
I asked my wife, past partners, friends, and parents if I've ever shown signs of being Bipolar and they said no but that I do have a lot of panic and anxiety issues. I didn't fill the seroquel prescription. I did discontinue the Celexa per the ER doctor's request. After stopping the Celexa (and once the seroquel wore off) I felt like my normal anxious self. Driving and grocery shopping suck again and I've had at least one panic attack per day which I quickly come down from once I cry it out and receive reassurance. Most of my panic attacks right now come from worrying that I'm Bipolar and that I'll have to take medications that dull my cognitive abilities. If I do that, I might as well kiss my career and home goodbye. My work is entirely cognitive and creative as I'm a professor and researcher.
I'm seeing my GP today and getting referred to a psychiatrist for proper diagnosis. Can someone reassure me that if I'm bipolar I can still be successful in my career even with harsh medications? Does this sound like I was really manic because of the Celexa?
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