Part time Full time

[Jafar the wizard]

Sometimes I prefer to talk about my mental illness without labeling it .. because I'm not sure if ( bipolar disorder ) or ( manic depressive disorder ) is an accurate diagnosis ..
The only thing I'm sure about is that I'm a part time person ..
Part time worker , part time lover , part time friend , part time singer , part time social person , part time driver , part time writer , part time role player , and part time Father ..
Maybe I'm a part time patient too .. part time manic and part time depressive .. a part time case of bipolar disorder .. a part time mental disability..
..
There's perhaps only one thing that is not part time in my life .. Overthinking and daydreaming .. I'm a full time overthinker and a full time day dreamer ..
..
It's hard for a person like me to live a life to the fullest .. I can only help myself ( with some kind of self awareness ) to live a part time life to the fullest ..
..
I'm gonna be 57 next April .. but I'm not even sure that I'm a person who has a 57 years old soul and mind inside a 57 years old body .. maybe my body is 57 years old but my mind and soul are much younger than that .. a part time mind and a part time soul inside a full time body ..

[AJ]

Hi Jafar. It's nice to hear from you. I can relate to overthinking things. The endless 'what ifs' can go around and around if I don't get off the not so merry merry go round. Moving to a different physical space and occupying my mind with something else by doing a specific task can sometimes help.

[sandy11]

Hi Jafar the wizard! What an insightful post, this really opened a new perspective for me.

Perhaps mental illness (or however we choose to define it) is just one of the many hats we wear. It's hard to wear one hat all the time and I can imagine it to be quite challenging (also not very fashionable) to wear all our hats at once, full-time. It can be helpful to take off our hats or switch to other ones when the time calls for it.

Some hats can be worn more than others. I completely relate to being a full-time over-thinker as well... that's a hat that can be hard to take off at times. Maybe because it's become so comfortable to wear. I can't say if I can throw away this overthinking hat completely but maybe I'll learn how to wear it differently instead. There's no reason why we can't wear our hats in other ways.

I think to "live a part-time life to the fullest" is a beautiful phrase. I am stepping into the "grown-up" phase of my life as a young adult and there are certainly times when I feel as if I am living as a true adult only part-time. This is a new way of looking at things.

[Jafar the wizard]

Hi Sandy
thanks for commenting .. the hats idea makes sense to me .. I'll try thinking about my daily life this way ..
might help

[Jafar the wizard]

Hi AJ
thanks for your comment ..
Writing a post like this is only sharing thoughts in my mind .. I might be right I might wrong .. I only post what I think is OK to post .. but I always try to write my thoughts down .. if I don't write my thoughts I'll forget all about them ..
our minds are an enigmatic world that we know very little about .. and me personally i believe my mind is sometimes a blessing I value .. but most of the times my mind is a curse ..
getting my mind busy with something does help a lot .. i hear you

[uni]

Hello Jafar. I absolutely love what you wrote, thank you! You have explained things in a way that makes a lot of sense to me.

Sometimes I feel incapable of being anything but a part timer, especially in certain areas. I've gotten in trouble in the past by overestimating the time, energy, and attention certain things require, for example volunteer work. If I commit to too much - call it full-time - I'm in danger of not being able to follow through. Then I end up letting others down and feeling bad about myself.

I think there might be a lot to be said for part time. It can allow you to at least stay in the game rather than back out completely.

[Jafar the wizard]

Hi Uni ..
Thanks for the feedback .. do not feel bad about yourself .. it's not your job to meet other people's high expectations .. maybe they need to learn how to quit asking a part timer to be available on full time basis ..

[uni]

Thanks Jafar. That's a good point. I forget about that sometimes. I also have to keep my own expectations of myself realistic.

Sometimes just reading or sharing a post on here gives me the insight I need!