Rare episodes in my life

[Jafar the wizard]

I can remember tiny meticulous details of things that happened in the past and I can even remember the feelings associated with them .. Which is a curse for someone who's dealing with depression issues ..
However , it can be a blessing once in a while .. and that happened Few days ago , and for one single day I felt different ..

I felt a rare episode that lasted for few hours .. An episode of normal ability to judge and assess things correctly and objectively .. It's just like a rare episode that it's still happening once in a while .. and these episodes happened only few times during my whole life ..
Maybe it's my mind playing games on me .. but yet again , I need to talk about it to make sure I'm getting it right ..
I'll try my best to describe these rare episodes .. and find a simple way to explain it ..

It's just like my brain is a mixture of tens of chemicals that need to be adjusted in a specific exact balanced proportion in order to allow my brain to function normally and sufficiently in an objective way based only on facts and not on emotions .. And of course not on my opinions about events that happened in the past ..

My brain struggles to adjust these chemicals for years and its hard to believe that it's only one chemical like serotonin .. it's not even only two .. It must be much more than that to be so difficult to adjust .. and it must be in a random process of changing and fluctuating ..

And I can remember previous episodes like these that happened few times during my life but unfortunately they only last for one day or maybe only few hours .. and then the balance is lost again and I have to wait for several years to be lucky again and win this ( brain chemical lottery ) ..

It's an episode that I wish it could last much longer and to use it to finish many tasks that were left unfinished during very long episodes of procrastination and laziness .. I wish i can use it to answer many questions that were waiting for too long without being answered ..

I'm not sure if that was enough to make things clear to you but I really need some feedback and help regarding this ..

Actually that's the reason behind writing my recent post about ( Part time - Full Time ) ..
Because as I get older I feel that multitasking is becoming more and more difficult in my life .. I can only function well by focusing on one task or maybe two .. and I have some ability to choose the right task at the right time in the right place .. and its not necessarily the same task every time .. and that's why my life is not a full time process .. I'm dealing with things in short term basis in a part time way ..

I have strong reasons to believe that this ( brain chemical balance ) has something to do with my ( part time life ) ..

[sandy11]

Hi Jafar the wizard, it's great to hear that you've had a few moments when things seem a bit clearer. It would sure be nice if those moments could stick around for longer to help tackle those tasks and unanswered questions you mentioned.

Our brains are always calculating, sometimes to the point of overthinking. And even more so, our brains can be stubborn and seemingly defiant. They have their own special way of signalling to us what they need, even if it's the opposite of what we want them to do in the current moment, which can be frustrating.

Every once in a while though, our brains seem to let us have the upper hand, oftentimes when we least expect it. I'm wondering if there are ways to level out the playing field of this game of give-and-take between us and our brains. If.. instead of pushing for productivity, we work towards a fair ratio of give and take.

Perhaps when we focus a great deal on what our brains can do for us, we forget to return the favour. Maybe there are things that we do for our brains too so it can give us just the right balance of all those chemicals we have, more often.

[Jafar the wizard]

Hi Sandy
" to level out the playing field of this game of give-and-take between us and our brains "
Never thought of it this way .. and it might be a better way to understand our brains ..
what can be a good example of returning the favor to our brains ? .. healthy diet ?..

[sandy11]

That's a good question, Jafar the wizard! I'm sure there are many avenues we can take to look after our brains (though I imagine there are numerous online sources out there emphasizing one over another, always good to be skeptical of some of those "quick-fix" articles... but I digress!).

I think lifestyle habits are a wonderful place to start. One I'm working on is drinking a bit more water throughout the day- our brains are about 80% water after all!

Our brains are very complex... but that's what makes them so unique, both to each person and to each different need. Taking care of our brains as we would like them to take care of us can perhaps help guide what we should do to look after them. Instead of "us versus our brains," maybe its time we work together as a team.

Perhaps if I want my brain to slow down my racing thoughts before bed so I can sleep better, I can make a cup of tea and put on some calming music to help both of us unwind. Or if I want it to remember everything I have to do today, maybe I can give my brain a helping hand by writing down a to-do list as a gentle reminder.

On another note, our brains can get very bored of the same routine very quickly, even to the point of becoming unmotivated or disengaged.. I'm wondering if this is understandably, similar to how we may get drained from wearing our full-time hats. Perhaps another thing we can do to return the favor is to give it a break from its full-time routine. Maybe something as simple as taking a different route on the way home from work, calling a friend out of the blue, or exploring a new hobby can be ways to treat our brains to their well-deserved break.

Would love to hear what you end up trying and how it goes. And maybe others have different ideas to add as well!

[uni]

Hello Jafar. Thanks for sharing about your experience. Your episode of having that "normal ability to judge and assess things correctly and objectively" sounds wonderful!

I can't help but think that surely there are ways for our brains to get more of those times. Maybe that's what medication is mainly about. And certain therapies. I don't really know.

I guess that the fact you can experience such an episode at all is proof that it's possible. But wouldn't it be nice to make it more possible more of the time? So it would no longer be a "chemical lottery" as you put it.

Mental health and brain activity and everything that relates to it seems like a giant puzzle. But your post actually gives me hope that more can be discovered, hopefully in the not too distant future, to get more of those great episodes. Or maybe there are already things that help, but we haven't come across them or ever heard of them -- yet.

I have a related thing that happens once in a very long while, years and years apart, which I call "waking up in the morning with a clear head". That's the only way to describe it. It's as though any fog or clouds have completely dissolved while I slept,. Everything looks sharp and all the sounds are crystal clear. It's a wonderful feeling.

Then over the course of a few days, or maybe weeks, I forget to notice the clear head and only until it happens again, a long time later, am I reminded. Which gets me wondering how and when it gradually went away. I've never really gone into this with anyone, but what you've explained sounds sort of similar. Except my emotions are completely involved, in the sense that I feel more joyful and optimistic and just sort of peaceful for a while.

It's sort of bittersweet to have glimpses of what things might feel like brain-wise, but have no way of bringing them to pass. Except by carrying on, trying all sorts of stuff, and finding reasons to hope. At the same time not getting your hopes up, if you know what I mean. To hope, but not to expect. While carrying on the best you can with what you have.

As Paul M. liked to say, I'll get off my soapbox now

[Jafar the wizard]

Hello Uni
I'm glad to hear what you think of our ( brain activities ) .. it is a puzzle and it can surely puzzle me sometimes ..
..
R.I.P. Paul m