dysthymic disorder

[GTGR]

I've been feeling down for about 3-5 years, but I always tough it was normal and I was just feeling bored.
But lately I've been having much more trouble with those feelings.

I'm looking for advise. I always tough that if I would be depressed, there wouldn't be any hesitation about it.
I've been feeling down for a long time, but not like you see in the movies where someone is completely useless for a little while and then better again.

I've been reading about dysthymic disorder and it's making a lot of sense to me.
Here is what I've been feeling. I've grabbed those symptoms from a website (http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-c...s/con-20033879)
I should say, my grand mother was depressed most of her life.

Loss of interest in daily activities :
That's the major thing that I've noticed. I have almost completely lost the ability to enjoy myself.
I used to love video games, playing guitar. I used to be very passionate.
For a long time now, I can't even concentrate on that for more than 5-10 minutes.
I tough I was just bored with those activities, but I find myself being bored 95% of the time.
It's been even more difficult to deal with that lately. I feel like all I do is work and I can never relax.

Sadness or feeling down:
That's more recent. For a few months now I feel much more down than I used to.
I sometime find myself bored out of my mind, angry because I can't enjoy myself and very sad.

Hopelessness:
Also, been feeling more hopeless lately. I've been able to push trough it in the past but now I'm starting to lose the battle.

Tiredness and lack of energy:
Waking up in the morning in very difficult, and I sleep 8-9 hours a night.
I also almost always feel tired.

Low self-esteem, self-criticism or feeling incapable:
I've been bullied all my childhood/adolescent and my self confidence is practically non-existent.

Trouble concentrating and trouble making decisions:
That's the other major symptom for me, I used to be an A+ student and be very much able to concentrate.
I tough it was just because I was getting older, but for many years now I can't concentrate at all.
I can't read for me than a minute or 2 before I phase out, I need to watch movies in 20-30 minutes intervals.
I also used to play lots of video games. Now I can't focus on a video game more than 15-30 minutes.

Irritability or excessive anger:
I've been called grumpy a lot.

Decreased activity, effectiveness and productivity:
Since I'm bored all the time on my free time, I feel like I never do anything fun.

Avoidance of social activities:
I've always been more comfortable on my own. Never really had friends.

Feelings of guilt and worries over the past:
I tough that was normal, but I often feel this weird angry feeling for stuff I've done in the past. I can't really explain it.
And that's for really non important stuff.

Poor appetite or overeating:
Did not notice anything there.

Sleep problems:
I've been told by my girlfriend that I often have panic like dreams during the night and speak a lot. I almost never wake up rested.

[AJ]

Welcome to the forums GTGR. I'm sorry to hear that you are unwell. Have you been seen by a psychiatrist? He or she could take a history, do some tests to eliminate a physical cause and perhaps give you a diagnosis. Not that they always get it right, but seeing a psychiatrist would be a good start. Even seeing your family doctor to do the blood work etc. would be helpful.

[paul m]

Hello GTGR and welcome. It's tough when you have long lasting symptoms with little or no relief in sight.

There are multiple reasons for feeling the way you do. Long lasting low level depression may be dysthymic disorder, it also could be the start of major depression, as some people that eventually eventually end up with major depression start out with similar symptoms.

Or as AJ has said there could be physical problems that will give you depression and/or symptoms of depression. For example a low blood sugar level could acct for most of your symptoms. So it's always good to get a quality physical ck up at the same time. Some sleep disorders may cause similar problems as well. There are also many other physical problems that can cause various levels of depression and/or depressive like symptoms.

In regards to the "movie portrayal of depression" . I know what you mean, however the movies don't always get it right. I've gone through very long periods where I wasn' deeply depressed , but I was still depressed.

Increasing levels of general anxiety disorder can also cause the problems that you are having and it's not uncommon for those of us that suffer long (and/or) short bouts of depression to become irritable and anxious. More or less, chronic anxiety can cause various levels of depression and chronic depressive symptoms(or dysthymic symptoms) can cause various levels of anxieties

I hope that you can find a solution as I know it's no fun going through life feeling the way that you do. Until you can talk to a doctor, and afterwards too, please don't hesitate to ask questions here, answer other people's questions and/or use the forum to vent out some of life's frustrations. Take Care. paul m.

[GTGR]

I've had bloodwork done and the doctor thinks it's depression.
I must admit that I'm surprised.
Even tough I don't feel well 90% of the time, I'm still able to feel good sometimes and go on with my day to day.
I always tough that if you had depression, that you were not able to function at all.

The doctor gave me celexa 10mg and then 20mg next week. Right now it's the side effect festival, I haven't slept in two days.
From what I read, the side effects eventually go away.

I'm also seeing a psycologist tonight, we'll see what she thinks.

[bucky310]

Welcome GTGR. I'm glad to see you've gone to your doctor to get things sorted out.

Your experience sounds a lot like mine. One thing that I definitely remember is how on certain days I'd be happy and others I'd be a little bummed out at first. I remember my first feelings of depression starting when I was away at university. For the first year or so I chalked it up to being sad that I was away from home, family, etc. However, things got a bit worse and I went to a school provided psychologist (very different from a psychiatrist I found out at the time). I was originally given some breathing exercises and diagnosed as not clinically depressed. Things got better for a bit with those techniques, but then got worse again over a matter of 2-3 years. This time I went to a doctor (your very smart move to do that first) and was diagnosed with clinical depression and given meds. Took me a while to get the right balance (and to this day I'll occasionally ask to be reduced in dosage or upped in dosage depending on how well I am doing) but it's definitely better than the alternative.

Keep doing the right things! It seems like you're taking the proper steps needed to get better.

Welcome again, and don't be a stranger. This place is an excellent place to vent/rant/learn/what have you.

[AJ]

I'm glad you you've had blood work done. Let us know how you make out with the psychologist tonight GTGR.

For those who aren't sure of the difference, a doctor (physician) can prescribe medication and do diagnostic work up with tests like blood work, x-rays etc. Some of them do 'talk therapy'. A psychologist can't prescribe medication or order tests like blood work etc. They sometimes do cognitive testing among other psychological tests. Their most common form of treatment is 'talk therapy' but they do use other methods as well.

[purgatory]

hi sorry haven't been on here for awhile. My diagnosis is 'double depression' which is both major depression and dysthymia along with anxiety etc. Basically for as far back as I remember I'm 47 and have always been employed, been married once, one offspring to boot. functioning is relative. Yes I've had the breakdown luckily I had plenty of sick leave but I usually only function as in go to work, go home. I've had bored moments but mostly it's a lack of positive emotions. Bored would imply that I would be enthused to do something. Does this make any sense?