does anyone else feel dread at the pit of their stomach?

[purgatory]

Like something is awful going to happen? I have lots I should do even stuff that wouldn't require bending or heavy physical stuff so much but don't do anything I'm paralysed and why bother so much in three years one after another and totally unexpected. I've gone beyond bad things happen in three and It's not just interpersonal well most but then I always knew as a child that I didn't fit in and my parents well how to explain I was just there. My mother for just one example jokes how I had to get my needles done over as a baby because she 'forgot' to get my booster on time. Has no idea if I had chicken pox, was surprised which high school I had attended 30 years ago. My brother she remembers everything I'm really not exaggerating. Forget extended, I was usually just watching others interact and waiting to be noticed and allowed to say or join in. I tried going out (bit difficult as I tire easily with pain from osteoarthris in knees spine and lots in spine. I'm also nervous and I really think that my family physican wil be delisting me. He's been doing a purge of what he calls 'difficult' patients. No I don't argue but one isn't suppose to ask for more than one thing at a time. He's risk averse as in termporary disability parking and 40 dollars every few weeks to say yes teleworking from home full time to most time to be renewed in 6 weeks.... he doesn't look or touch just punches into computer responses. (Ooops my mouse moved when I was back spacing I hope I fixed the above sorry) anyways that morning with all the humidity and sitting for an hour in the awful chairs god the pain my l5 s1 has many issues due to scoliosis, OA, compresed vertabre etc, you get the picture not fixable bone itself stuff at 49 yrs. I digress again by the time I got into a room I had to lay on the table sitting standing is god awful , he reluctently is writing the note and yes I said everything is virtual, no use for phones it's all computers, share drives emails with managers and others in gov't. I'm trying to explain to him that I need to last another 6 yrs min to work. My pay grade is at the bottom rung so pension before taxes would be maybe 2k a month and 100 deductable just for the health care prem after retirement not including dental . I'm like look at my legs and feet they are really swollen and red and he's not happy that I'm asking becaiuse he's only writing a note and a refill of meds which he was okay 3 months before it was once a year. I know run on sentences but too many things from all sides and my physical and mental are working against me. But that feeling of dread another awful thing is about to happen. i'm tired

[bucky310]

Hi purgatory. I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time.

I used to get a feeling like that when I was a teenager, but, in my case, it was always when I hadn't sufficiently prepared myself for something. Things like tests, chores, etc. But that sounds quite different from what you're experiencing.

Maybe you could start browsing for new doctors? If you feel like you should you might as well do so while you still have a doctor in my opinion. It seems like you feel he isn't helpful enough.

Either way I sure hope everything works out with your doctor, job, etc.

Feel better!

[AJ]

Hi Purgatory. With everything you are dealing with, it's understandable that you would be just waiting for the next bad thing to happen. It must be a very strong feeling that is quite upsetting if it's at the point that you dread something is about to happen.

My anxieties are usually about missing a plane, or a loved one being killed in a car accident. I did however end up in the hospital recently with a bowel bleed (ischemic bowel). It had a sudden onset, was quite painful, and very scary seeing all that blood. I did recover without needing a blood transfusion or surgery, but I was told it could happen again. It's rather unsettling knowing that.

I have other physical and mental health issues as well, and on the really bad days it all seems like to much. Thankfully they're not all bad, some days are ok, and some are pretty good.

It might be possible to book for a half an hour appointment when you have several issues to discuss. It's difficult to only talk about one health issue when they are most often intertwined. I agree with bucky310, perhaps looking for a new doctor while you still have one might be a good idea.

[purgatory]

no I used to get those feeling for test, family dinners, leaving my bed as a child too. My pdoc is great, family doctor nothing to browse super super shortage and the ones available like healthy patients and won't prescribe anything I'm just on a small dose of percocet 5/525 the high dose of tyenol is more dangerouis but the doctors here are like fed gov't higher ranks and politicians risk averse. however I have been searching for any doctor even 30 to 40 mins outside of city since I know he's going to delist me. Remember when your family doctor would call you if you had issues with test, take blood pressure, look at you even (this seems to be the new norm I've asked others and yup it's the way now) I finally was able to get a family doc for my partner but that doc refused ativan (even though he had a bottle that was over a year old as in he doesn't abuse but she won't perscribe anything that needs a signature from patient she didn't offer any mental health services, I gave him a list because he needs to have his prostrate checked he's 49 but I noticed a couple of things. Nope she tells him only at 50. Yes it's hard to believe but true It's good to hear from you and thanks fro responding

[paul m]

Hello Purgatory. I can understand your upset with doctors in Ontario. We must have the most fouled up system going. Right now the doctors are angry with the province and some are working to rule, which means one appt, one topic. Fortunately I don't work and I can make three appts in a week if need be.

You can also go to after hrs clinics if you can't make regular doctors appts.(Pls note that some patients are required to go to only the after hrs clinic that their doctor is affiliated with) I know it's a pain sitting as they don't take appts, but sometimes the line up there is less than at the doctors. Many people in Ontario do not know about Urgent Care Clinics which offer more services than after hrs clinics. Example http://urgentcare.ca/about-us/

In regards to doctors de re-rostering or delisting patients, that does happen, but they have to have reasons for it and they just can't drop you , they have to notify you and give you a reasonable amount of time to find a new doctor. There are exceptions, like if a patient is rude or threatening, however for all of the facts see http://www.cpso.on.ca/Policies-Publi...t-Relationship

In regards to needing a signature for ativan, I've never signed for mine, so I would ask the pharmacist if someone has to sign for ativan, sometimes docs get things wrong. Mind you I always pay for it by credit card so that's sort of an electronic signature.

In regards to refills , some docs make you go and see them, but many docs don't. When I need refills my pharmacy just faxes the doctor. For that matter the pharmacy can often refill my prescriptions as long it's my regular pharmacy and they are not for narcotics or benzodiazpines https://www.opatoday.com/how-your-ph...-of-medication . I haven't been to see my doc for yrs to refill my prescriptions for arthritis, asthma , high blood pressure, diabetes and several other prescriptions that I take. (including lorazepam) I do see my doc regularly , but he doesn't spend time doing refills. The pharmacy just fills out a form and faxes it to him and he just has to sign it.(I presume that the form is electronically generated and sent). My wife takes a narcotic for back pain and the pharmacy just faxes it to the doctor too. Assuming that the pharmacy doesn't just fill it themselves. (Please note, the pharmacy can only fill out the refill once and the a doctor has to do it)

Many pharmacies also don't tell you that many drug plans will pay for a more than a 30 day supply. Most of my meds are prescribed at a rate of a 100 day supply, thus saving me many , many prescription charges (my plan charges me $9 per prescription) Good Luck with the system and Take Care. paul m

[AJ]

I'm glad you have a good Pdoc Purgatory.

I understand your frustration with the health care system. Even as a previous health care worker, I have trouble getting the system to work for me.

Waiting until the age of 50, after you've noticed something of concern is ridiculous! The clinical picture should trump guidelines any day of the week! Geez.