Poor, poor me.

[Fighting back]

I'm going to whine a bit. I think I deserve it.

10 years ago tonight, on August the 8th, I said goodnight to my mom for the last time. Next day, she died in a car accident. That event started a chain of events that nearly wrecked me within 5 years. Of course, I had set myself up far earlier than that, but if I had to pick the turning point, well, here it is.

I don't think I want to go through all the details again. I am so tired of replaying this one in my mind. August brings out the melancholy in me. Cue Don Henley's "Boys of Summer". Later this month marks 20 years since I said goodbye to my dad on the phone. Next day he had a stroke and passed away within 72 hours. A week after he passed, world events heaved when Princess Diane was killed in that spectacular car crash. I was angry at the world for daring to interfere while I was grieving my father. The decade anniversaries do have some significance. Elsewhere, I have mentioned how my old dog has begun her decline. She is still with us. This last week has seen rapid decline, perhaps August will be her month too. I can barely contain these thoughts.

Wake me up when September ends.

[AJ]

Hi Fighting Back. Anniversaries can be the kind you celebrate, or the kind it feels like another grieving process. I have to say for me, the more anniversaries of losses that pass, the less intense they are. Still, I struggle with them.

I had to say goodbye to my Shepherd on Jul 30th 2013 and there is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her. The date July 30th is a particularly tough one. The night before my dog's last day, she sat across from me on the floor (she always laid beside my chair), and gave me this intense look with her gentle eyes. I believe she was letting me know that she was ready.

I still have both my parents, but they are quite elderly, so I know that day will come.

[paul m]

Hello Fightingback. Sometimes whining or as I prefer to call it, venting out frustrations, is good for the soul or at least I feel that it is.

It is especially hard on those remaining when the loved one is taken suddenly.

In regards to dates I'm not one to remember them. I can't remember in fact, I don't know if that's my brain' way dealing with stuff or what. Sometimes, someone will ask me when my mother died and other than the fact that it was mother's day, I haven't a clue(neither date nor number of yrs ago) I can't remember when my last dog died,except that it was fall.

That doesn't mean that I'm better than anyone, it just means that I grieve differently. When something interferes with my grieving process I can become more than a little cranky so I can understand your upset when Princess Di passed and that was all that was on the news and how tragic it was. I never understood the headlines and number of mourners that celebrities attract when they pass. Just about everyone's death is tragic to someone so why does the world go bonkers, when someone they never even meet and they sure didn't know , dies.

In regards to your pet, you have my condolences, I hate it when I lose a pet, in particular a dog. Our last pet is now 12 and I'm practicably obsessive if she gets a lump or a sore. Take Care. and Vent often. paul m

[ashfay22]

I can't say I blame you for feeling this way- I, too, have lost many loved ones over the years and when that time of year comes up, it gets rough.
Recently, my ex sister-in-law passed away very very suddenly. She went to sleep, and never woke up. She was only 38 years old, and her 18 year old son found her.
The one year anniversary of her death just passed in July... and it was very difficult for me. Now, i mentioned she is my "ex" sister-in-law- she was my ex-husbands sister. However, her and I stayed in touch after he and I divorced, and we were still very close. She is still my daughters aunt, after all.
She also lived in a different country, so I never got to attend her funeral, or say goodbye to her properly at all.
It's a very sore subject for me... I haven't healed yet and I think it's because I never got the closure I needed.
So, I understand how you feel entirely.
Keep your head up.

[Iamsosorry]

i encourage others to vent because i so badly need to also and i want to feel less bad about it. please continue as you like, that's why we are all here.

[Luna Bella]

Hi there!
August!!!!! What a month!! 2015 & 2016 I came very close to loosing my life.Hospitalizred both times for months. This year August passed then end of September my mom died....Rough! So still grieving. Sounds like you are coming out the other side. Good on you!! Thanks for your post!