Hey guys,
Haven't been feeling well as of late. Lots of life stuff going on. The biggest of which being that I had my first anxiety attack in what feels like years shortly after the holidays at a family gathering. It was after my car had some troubles and I had that taken care of but the uneasiness of the whole scenario set me off when I had the opportunity to calm down (funny choice of words considering).
I think prior to that I had been getting depressed a little more. I've been getting confronted with reality lately. Mainly that I'm in my early thirties and still single, no prospects and I don't see any coming considering I'm about 275 pounds in weight. It feels like anybody that would date myself is someone I'm not attracted to. But at the same time I cannot motivate myself enough to lose weight. I've also been dealing with thoughts about my family getting older and that I'm the youngest. I love my family so much, especially my parents, and I have no idea what I would do should any of them pass away.
I think it's possible that I used to deal with this by drinking nearly every day. It would stop me from thinking like this. Nip it in the bud sort of scenario. Regardless, it seems like the progress I thought I had been making in the past few years has sort of had a downturn. It's like I've taken the two steps forward but am now dealing with having taken a step backward. These times also tend to lead towards thoughts of suicide. Never serious. I've never experienced serious thoughts like that, always a sort of in passing thought. And I would never do such a thing. I'm hoping that what I'm experiencing is a bit of Seasonal Affective Disorder as I have noticed this sort of thing happening in winter for me in the past.
Either way I figured I would come here and vent a little. Hope you guys are doing much better than I am at the current moment. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.
Have a good day.
Haven't been feeling well as of late. Lots of life stuff going on. The biggest of which being that I had my first anxiety attack in what feels like years shortly after the holidays at a family gathering. It was after my car had some troubles and I had that taken care of but the uneasiness of the whole scenario set me off when I had the opportunity to calm down (funny choice of words considering).
I think prior to that I had been getting depressed a little more. I've been getting confronted with reality lately. Mainly that I'm in my early thirties and still single, no prospects and I don't see any coming considering I'm about 275 pounds in weight. It feels like anybody that would date myself is someone I'm not attracted to. But at the same time I cannot motivate myself enough to lose weight. I've also been dealing with thoughts about my family getting older and that I'm the youngest. I love my family so much, especially my parents, and I have no idea what I would do should any of them pass away.
I think it's possible that I used to deal with this by drinking nearly every day. It would stop me from thinking like this. Nip it in the bud sort of scenario. Regardless, it seems like the progress I thought I had been making in the past few years has sort of had a downturn. It's like I've taken the two steps forward but am now dealing with having taken a step backward. These times also tend to lead towards thoughts of suicide. Never serious. I've never experienced serious thoughts like that, always a sort of in passing thought. And I would never do such a thing. I'm hoping that what I'm experiencing is a bit of Seasonal Affective Disorder as I have noticed this sort of thing happening in winter for me in the past.
Either way I figured I would come here and vent a little. Hope you guys are doing much better than I am at the current moment. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.
Have a good day.
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