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  • Depression

    I don't care about anyone or anything. I am emotionally detached completely at an interpersonal level, very mild emotion overall. I have extremely temporary(days) mood changes(motivated enough to tolerate daily human activity) very far and in between. Then, I go back to living an infinitely gray life, negative emotion only, some anxiety, definitely hopeless/extremely negative feelings, bone-deep exhaustion, low tolerance for human beings, get bored extremely easily by all things, don't enjoy anything. I like things but not like things at the same time...I have close friends, but I would not care if they died in the next 5 minutes. Can someone give me advice on what i should do, insight, etc,, and what is wrong with me? I've tried swimming or other things to keep me busy but it doesn't work because i'm completely apathetic.

  • #2
    Hi Sylvestal,
    I'm sorry you are having such a hard time, deppression is such a solitary illness.
    I was just wondering if this has been ongoing for a long time or if something in particular triggered it?
    You said you have close friends, are they aware of how you feel or do you keep it to yourself?
    Debbs

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    • #3
      Hello Sylvestal, and welcome. I'm sorry to hear how you've been feeling. Even though I'm not depressed at the moment. I can relate to much of what you've said (aside from the boredom and not caring if a close friend were to die). With all of what you're experiencing have you been seen by a doctor? Even if only to rule out physical ailments. Also they can give referrals to specialists like psychiatrists.
      uni

      ~ it's always worth it ~

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      • #4
        Hi Sylvestal and welcome to the forums. I agree with Uni. A visit to your family doctor for a full checkup is a good place to start.
        AJ

        Humans punish themselves endlessly
        for not being what they believe they should be.
        -Don Miguel Ruiz-

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        • #5
          I have went to the doctor, got diagnosed, physical, but I have not started therapy yet. However, I think that it will be limited in helping me. uni I've felt like this since about Grade 6..I am in grade 11 now, but I do believe that my depression was only minor[dysthymia] in my elementary days, as I had very faint energy/numb and slept a lot around grade 5, have problems with insomnia, just have never felt good or enthusiastic about anything in my life. I also don't think it has to do with any external problems, I think it is genetic [ long history of mental illness ] Debbs they do not know how extensive my apathy is, but i am a male so i don't talk about emotional things to them. i just dont have any interest in anything, and especially human beings. they have way too many problems and i already have my own so im not focused on anything except trying to fix myself.
          Last edited by Sylvestal; October 3rd, 2018, 10:34 AM.

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          • #6
            Hey there Sylvestal,
            I just have a few thoughts on how you are feeling & it's only my opinion. I am certainly not qualified to give you more than that!
            Firstly the fact that you have felt like this for so long leads me to believe therapy/phychiatrist may help & you have nothing to lose by trying. My son went a long time before he was diagnosed with bpd, anxiety & adhd. I wish he had received help sooner it may of made a difference. It's still an uphill battle for him but at least he is headed in a direction now. He still wont go to therapy but I hope at some point he may. He is the only one that can decide that. For now he sees a phychiatrist/doctor.
            He hates talking to anyone about it or to be labelled but the thing is when he finally did open up a little rather than acting out he was surprised to realise how many people he knew that could relate!!
            I'm not saying that you should tell anyone or open up emotionally I'm just saying dont shut out the possibilities.
            You say you cant be bothered with human interaction & their problems but sometimes its loneliness & mis-understanding that makes people feel like that & when you realise that deppresion comes in all shapes & sizes not focusing on fixing (your words) yourself helping others can actually help you.
            I hope that came across ok and with good intentions as it is meant.
            What I mean is maybe trying to fix yourself is part of the problem rather than trying to find a way to live with it. Anyway It's just my thoughts & only an opinion.
            I hope you are having a better day today & if not always remember.....
            Tomorrow is another day Take care x


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            • #7
              Debbs I've never really had problems with loneliness, I've always been an introverted person but I think I definitely am jaded and bitter in comparison to other 16 y/o, but then again, I don't relate to most kids with their drug addictions or family issues/character flaws, as I am a pretty ''developed'' child for my age. Even on good days my worldview is pessimistic, and I believe only a handful of people are actually worth talking to. I am thinking about going to CBT because you have given me this information.

              On my view of humans though, I just believe their egos are a problem and our species need to be more independent and individual, as they rush towards the mean of the society/clique/group/class simply to fit in. Growth is inhibited by social things, for example, tradition for the sake of to me doesn't make any sense. All beings should find out for themselves what they value and why, rather than making mistakes as a result of ignoring the process of creating a personal philosophy and sets of principles/guidelines to follow.

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              • #8
                Hey
                Well I'm glad you are at least considering it, you have nothing to lose by it! Nothing ventured nothing gained!
                As for your your views although i do agree with some of what you say there is another way to look at it. Whilst some people are judgmental, have ego's & feel the need to conform doesn't that also make them individuals even if we disagree with them?
                The world is full of different people with different backgrounds & different views. It would be a very lifeless world if everyone was the same!
                I personally don't care if someone is big, small, black, white, gay, straight, religious or atheist. I believe everyone as a human being has the right to be happy, treated equally & to be an individual.
                I wont judge them.
                We all have stories to tell & we all deal with them differently but that doesn't make one more right than the other. Life can be really hard but sometimes if your lucky the outcome is worth the fight! I always choose to take that chance and hope to hell things work out because I believe life is a gift however hard it may be!
                I agree in principle with what you say but do you not think that your views of the human race are what makes you an individual & do you not think that judging everyone the same is egotistical?
                Its food for thought
                Interesting views for someone so young but also very smart!!
                I hope you are having a better day x

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