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Is there something wrong with me?

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    Is there something wrong with me?

    People seem to dislike me everywhere I go. I feel like I can't talk to people. Whenever I'm somewhere, I feel terrified and hesitant. I don't know what to say. I know I need to be more self assured, but I never learned how to socialize and my confidence has been shot from years of abuse. People either gossip about me, to my face or behind my back when they see that I'm not confident and then I feel that I brought it on myself and it just perpetuates the cycle. There's nothing more I can say, except I know that I need to make a change, but all I'm looking for is support.

    #2
    Welcome, GChopsticks. Sorry you have had to endure years of abuse. I hope you find support here.

    Comment


      #3
      Thanks Rosey. I truly appreciate your support (and the upvote on the other thread). Any advice on how to overcome feeling awkward and regain my confidence?

      Comment


        #4
        I have some social anxiety and avoid things such as public speaking or being the center of attention but I did gain some confidence skills by doing some adult teaching and being a part of many support groups. So, avoiding works for me because I just accept that is who I am and I’m ok with it. But if I’m understanding correctly this article seems like it might be helpful for you.
        https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/art...al_awkwardness
        Last edited by Rosey; October 5th, 2019, 06:25 PM.

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          #5
          Welcome to the forum GChopsticks. People who have not struggled with mental illness just don't get it. I'm sorry you had to experience that.
          AJ

          Humans punish themselves endlessly
          for not being what they believe they should be.
          -Don Miguel Ruiz-

          Comment


            #6
            How did you get the job as a teacher? Did you need experience?

            Comment


              #7
              Thanks AJ. Am I wrong or naive to think everything else seems to come more easily to those people? I know everyone has their struggles. But it doesn't help that they're able to hide them better or that they're thriving in spite of them.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by GChopsticks View Post
                How did you get the job as a teacher? Did you need experience?
                I was a volunteer teacher and it was scripted so pretty much just reading the material. My kind of teaching haha! It still was very good for me to be in front of a group of people. I was an educational assistant with special needs kids for some of my working years and at times I had to manage a classroom by myself and it was terrifying for me....did not happen often though thank goodness.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Were there times where you needed to manage the classroom without the reading material, and how did you do it? How were you able to be in front of a group? Did it take practice to develop the instinct to interact with the students?

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I have found that once you get to know people, you realize that they too have their struggles in life. While they may not 'get' mental illness, they often can appreciate work stress, relationship issues, and the other life challenges. I think some people do have less challenges in life than others. Some are better equipped to deal with the tough slugging. Personally I have not found it helpful to compare. Whatever hills we have to climb are our own, some are steeper than others, but the terrain of life has plenty of them for all of us.
                    AJ

                    Humans punish themselves endlessly
                    for not being what they believe they should be.
                    -Don Miguel Ruiz-

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by AJ View Post
                      Personally I have not found it helpful to compare. Whatever hills we have to climb are our own, some are steeper than others, but the terrain of life has plenty of them for all of us.
                      Wow.....this should be the quote of the day!

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by GChopsticks View Post
                        Were there times where you needed to manage the classroom without the reading material, and how did you do it? How were you able to be in front of a group? Did it take practice to develop the instinct to interact with the students?
                        The volunteer class was very meaningful to me so it was easier to move beyond my fear and there was another person teaching with me. There was training on how to manage group processes so that also helped with me managing the class without reading. I have done a few presentations where I was again talking about something meaningful to me and felt it may be helpful for others but I also had to read my presentation. My other experiences helped me to begin to talk without reading it totally. I’m a bad presenter but I did improve and if you focus on the content instead of your emotions it helps. I also took an antihistamine which was calming for my severe anxiety for those presentations. I have allergies so recognized this benefit on my anxiety.

                        I have training as a preschool teacher so this age group is easy for me because I love them. But the older groups had more of an effect on my anxiety. I’m glad I don’t have to do any teaching or group presentations anymore.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by AJ View Post
                          I have found that once you get to know people, you realize that they too have their struggles in life. While they may not 'get' mental illness, they often can appreciate work stress, relationship issues, and the other life challenges
                          I would trade being misunderstood by others and the sense of always being behind them in life for even a sliver of those things.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by Rosey View Post

                            The volunteer class was very meaningful to me so it was easier to move beyond my fear and there was another person teaching with me. There was training on how to manage group processes so that also helped with me managing the class without reading. I have done a few presentations where I was again talking about something meaningful to me and felt it may be helpful for others but I also had to read my presentation. My other experiences helped me to begin to talk without reading it totally. I’m a bad presenter but I did improve and if you focus on the content instead of your emotions it helps. I also took an antihistamine which was calming for my severe anxiety for those presentations. I have allergies so recognized this benefit on my anxiety.

                            I have training as a preschool teacher so this age group is easy for me because I love them. But the older groups had more of an effect on my anxiety. I’m glad I don’t have to do any teaching or group presentations anymore.
                            Where did you volunteer and did you just apply or did you need to be interviewed? What do you do now, and do you still love teaching, irrespective of how nervous you got sometimes?

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by GChopsticks View Post

                              Where did you volunteer and did you just apply or did you need to be interviewed? What do you do now, and do you still love teaching, irrespective of how nervous you got sometimes?
                              Hmmm. Thought I just posted a reply but pushed the wrong button so here it is again and if 2 show up a moderator can delete one.

                              So talking on a forum like this kind of feels like being on stage so I’d rather not say where I volunteered because it is very personal to me. I was asked if I would help by doing presentations and for the classes I applied but there was no interview. They were just glad to get a living, breathing human haha. They need volunteers for the Mood Disorder Society so if interested search this site for “volunteers”.

                              I just retired and am trying hard to recover from depression. It is harder than I thought. Yes, I especially loved teaching one on one.

                              What do you do, GChopsticks?

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