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A little scared - things that have been working just stopped today

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    A little scared - things that have been working just stopped today

    For quite some time, I have been managing my anxiety/depression with podcasts. When my mind is not doing well I put on podcasts so I don't have my own thoughts. I do this every day pretty close to all day from the time I get up until I go to bed.
    It's not working today. I am in a really bad place and I can't stand the podcasts. The funny ones remind me how sad I am, the serious ones are too serious for me to handle. I feel like I want to climb out of my skin.
    I am sitting at work alone. I don't know what to do. I don't want to go home and face my family. I am thinking of sleeping at my desk. I don't want to see anyone. I am not sure what I will do in the morning when people come in. I am so tired I can't think properly. Everything hurts (physically and mentally). I don't know what to do.

    #2
    Hello WpgMom. I can make several suggestions, but you may have already tried them or rejected them and my advice is certainly no replacement for a professional opinion.

    Having deep rooted depression and anxiety is certainly no fun and can leave a person unable to cope. In your past it would seem that you have been able to cope with a combination of medication and life style . Watching podcasts and I'm sure other things. Try and remember your past successes, although this can be very difficult at times.

    You may be at a point where you need different medication. It's not unusual for a medication to stop working. Sometimes we need a different or increase in medicine to bring us back into a state of mental stability. I hope that you will soon feel better soon. Take Care. paul m.
    "Alone we can do so little;
    Together we can do so much"
    Helen Keller

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      #3
      Hi Paul
      Yes I have tried a lot of different things over the years and yes I have been like this most of my life. I did go to medication a few years ago and it sort of worked but the side effects were too bad to continue.
      I have always used avoidance to manage my depression and it is not as bad as it sounds. When your brain is telling you things that are not completely true, it's not the worst thing to find a way to not listen. I am having a harder time not listening at the moment. I have never found the usual suggestions of journalling or talking to someone as very helpful. The more I talk or write about what I am thinking the worse it gets. I do find little spurts of dumping a bit of my feelings on a forum like this works like a bit of a pressure valve.
      I think my age and phase of life is a factor now. I need to find a way to make it through the next 4ish years. In some ways I feel like that should be a piece of cake because I have been through horrible times that lasted longer than that, but on the other hand I am not sure I have the endurance anymore.
      I sometimes joke that "I have no F's to give because (work, the husband, fill in whoever makes sense in the moment) took them" :-)

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        #4
        Hello WpgMom. If little spurts of posting about your feelings help, then post away. Sorry I have no more to say except I've been there and am rooting for you.
        uni

        ~ it's always worth it ~

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