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What is feeling normal?

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    What is feeling normal?

    I forget how feeling normal should be. I have been depressed for so long that I don't know whether I am telling my doctor the truth when I say I am feeling okay. Is every day supposed to be hard to get through? Does every task require tears to get done? Is wanting to sit in your chair all day normal? Does getting older mean you have to give up on your dreams and imagination? Does it mean that not wanting to socialize is normal too? I honestly do not know. Can someone please tell me?

    #2
    Sad in Paradise these are common symptoms for someone who suffers from depression. I would take each day one step at a time. If you stop doing tasks and stop socializing with others it can actually make your depressive mood worse and increase your symptoms. I would advise you to speak with your doctor about possible treatment options. Counselling and medication are two good treatment options. Please don't be afraid to speak with your doctor about how you feel. You do not have to give up your dreams or spend each day feeling like this.

    Mocha231

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      #3
      Hello Sad in Paradise. I sometimes experience the things you describe. What I have to watch is how long they last, and whether they all happen together. "Normal" is a hard thing to pin down, but it sounds like you're describing ongoing symptoms, instead of healthy emotions. Does your doctor know you're feeling the way you've described in your post? Maybe he/she would pick up on something that no longer gets your attention because it's been the same for so long. Just a thought.
      uni

      ~ it's always worth it ~

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        #4
        Hi Sad in Paradise. It is not uncommon for
        people to see their doctor and either minimize how they’re feeling or hope their doctor notices.

        It is sometimes hard to say it like it is. As Mocha and Uni have said, let your doctor know how you’re truly doing. They are there to help.
        AJ

        Humans punish themselves endlessly
        for not being what they believe they should be.
        -Don Miguel Ruiz-

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          #5
          I have no idea what normal is. Struggling from the time I was a child. Wish I knew.

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            #6
            Shelby, I have been fortunate in that I have had glimpses of normal.but how to get back there eludes me. I try every day to the point of exhaustion. Just wish it wasn't so hard. Some people make it look so easy but are they struggling too? This is the conversation I would like to have. I think it would help people like you and I feel not so alone.

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              #7
              Sad in Paradinse and Shelby, I'm not sure there is a "normal" that's the same for everyone.

              My personal "normal" seems to mean that I'm less productive and more changeable than many people. However, I believe that's kind of who I am, and I'm quite fine with it. I get into trouble when I compare myself with others and have expectations that just aren't realistic for me. There are always others who seem "better" or "worse" than me, when in fact we are just different. So I ask myself, do I feel like I am "my" normal?

              However, I do understand that normal usually refers to the average experience of most people in our society. And it's nice to fit in there.

              "Some people make it look easy but are they struggling too?" I think a lot of people are. At one time I could have won an Oscar for the way I appeared on the outside, while on the inside I was shattered. Even my then husband didn't know how precarious things had become. Fear and stigma and ignorance and shame and pride all kept me from getting help, until I was hurting so badly I finally picked up the phone.

              What a relief when I found out how common something like depression really was. And what a wonderful thing to join a support group, hear the stories of others, and know I was not the only one. In my case, it's not my family or "normal" friends that I needed to connect with, it was those who often struggle to be "normal". Sometimes I look around me at people on the street or in a store or at a social gathering (pre-Covid of course) or listen to a telemarketer on the phone, and wonder how many are barely holding together. So in my opinion, yes, others struggle too, we just can't see it. And in realizing that, I feel way less alone. Like on here
              uni

              ~ it's always worth it ~

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                #8
                Uni I had an academy performance on many occasions, especially at work. We never know what people are going thru. Perhaps one day it will be ok to not be ok.
                AJ

                Humans punish themselves endlessly
                for not being what they believe they should be.
                -Don Miguel Ruiz-

                Comment

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