Summertime blues

[Quito]

I'm in a pretty bad slump right now. Summer can be a hard time because I feel especially lonely then. I found a depression support group facilitated by a counselor. It's very good so that is something.

After years of trial and error on anti depressants I decided to attempt solely through healthy eating, because I have binge eating disorder. When I eat healthy man do I crave Dopamine. When I see my doctor August 23rd I'll ask his advice.

I just limp along. These days I think shit, can I really do 25 more years of living this bullshit? I'm not really interested in sticking around, but I wouldn't hurt my sons like that. Even if they're all grown and have families of their own.

I wish I could get out of my bedroom and enjoy activities with friends like I used to. It's like I've completely given up.i go out to babysit the grandkids and go to group. Once in a while I'll go for a walk with my friend. It's awful feeling like a loser. Just AWFUL it's not how I envisioned retirement but then ... why would it be any different than my whole adult life. Just a slog to get through. Thanks for reading.

[AJ]

Hi Quito. I'm sorry to hear that you're having a tough time.

There are times I find myself in a 'slump'. Sometimes I just decide to hang in there for better days and focus on self care and being gentle with myself. Other times I can do that and manage little commitments like walking with a friend twice a week. It's exercise and company.

What is it that makes you feel like a loser? Is it the depression? What activities in retirement would you find enjoyable? What gets in the way of you enjoying activities with friends?

I'm glad you find the depression support group helpful. That's great that you make the effort to go.

[RunningKnitter]

Hi Quito,

Thanks for sharing. I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a tough time. I am glad to hear you have found a helpful group to take part in.

What is it about summer that makes you feel particularly lonely? Summer is a bit of a tough time for me as well, as many people in my life are off vacationing, while I am not able to do that right now, and I also have them around less for support and company.

Are there things in the past that have helped you when you are not feeling well?

I am glad to hear you are seeing your doctor soon. I know sometimes that is all I was able to do - do my best to make it through to the next appointment.

I know it can feel like things will never improve, but that is part of the lie that depression tells us.

I am glad you felt like you could share here. Keeping sharing if it feels helpful and let us know how things go.

Wishing you the best - hang in there!

[uni]

Thanks for sharing where you're at Quito. I hope your mood starts to life soon For what it's worth, I often get depression symptoms in the summer too, and have been struggling these last few days so I feel a bit better knowing I'm not the only one. Somehow society seems to love summer, but not all of us do.

[Gentle D]

I'm in a pretty bad slump right now. Summer can be a hard time because I feel especially lonely then. I found a depression support group facilitated by a counselor. It's very good so that is something.

After years of trial and error on anti depressants I decided to attempt solely through healthy eating, because I have binge eating disorder. When I eat healthy man do I crave Dopamine. When I see my doctor August 23rd I'll ask his advice.

I just limp along. These days I think shit, can I really do 25 more years of living this bullshit? I'm not really interested in sticking around, but I wouldn't hurt my sons like that. Even if they're all grown and have families of their own.

I wish I could get out of my bedroom and enjoy activities with friends like I used to. It's like I've completely given up.i go out to babysit the grandkids and go to group. Once in a while I'll go for a walk with my friend. It's awful feeling like a loser. Just AWFUL it's not how I envisioned retirement but then ... why would it be any different than my whole adult life. Just a slog to get through. Thanks for reading.

You are not alone in this, sometimes our perception makes us feel that way, but really you are great, an achiever, and not a loser. actually, you are a success story. Remember sometimes what we think might not be the actual state. Smile and say I am great!

[Jafar the wizard]

Just writing an essay about a ( pretty bad slump in summer ) and posting it online here .. is a GOOD SIGN .. this is AWARENESS ..
Many individuals have similar feelings during summertime and fail to talk or write about it ..
..
Thank you for sharing , Quito

[justaposition]

Hi Quito! Like others have expressed in this community of ours, I'm very glad you felt comfortable sharing your feelings. When you get a chance, I hope that you will consider the questions posted in this thread. You are very articulate in your writing and it may be a good idea to do more of that. There are several outlets to choose from. You could voice your thoughts and opinions on general matters related to the line of work you retired from. for example. Maybe you could speak to your grandchildren in a way that sticks with them forever through a written book.

If you don't already have a pair, get a pair of sunglasses and something to cover your head with and take your time conquering steep hills this summer. There's plenty of dopamine that comes from increasing your heart rate. Also incorporate more social behavior in your weekly routine and remember to start small. Get on a first name basis with the cashier who checks out your groceries. Report back, we'll all be waiting!

[uni]

Hi Quito. Just wondering how you're doing. I've had a run of pretty low days myself; hopefully things are looking up soon for you and me both!

[Quito]

Hey there: I'm sorry for being away so long. And so many thoughtful and kind responses. Thank you.

I've been eating a vegan diet, returned to yoga practise and returned to my church. It's a lot of discipline and keeps me busy. I also babysit my three grandchildren at least once/week. It's brought improvement to my quality of life but I still struggle with overeating and depression.

I guess it's like any other disease. It's there and isn't leaving anytime soon. It's something we bear. Like people with Lupus, MS or any other illness.

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and understanding. I wish everyone here a peaceful Easter weekend.

[uni]

It's great to hear from you Quito!

It sounds like you're doing lots of good things for your health - way to go! It's so hard to turn things around sometimes, to change habits and diet and all the rest of it. I'm glad to hear your quality of life has improved.

I agree that mental illness isn't that different than other illnesses in some ways. If only it would just be gone and stay away, but no, it likes to come back and try to make us miserable. But here we are, still in the game, so hooray for us!

My Easter weekend has been and continues to be lovely and quiet and fairly low stress. I hope yours has been too

[Quito]

Thanks Uni. Glad you had a good Easter.

I'm hurting today. A lot of times depression manifests as anger while I'm driving .. or trying to accomplish things in my home.

Today I'm measuring the inside of my bedroom and living room windows but the old blinds are in the way. And you have to measure width both at the top of the window and the bottom. Just not patient for things sometimes. After working all day, I'm ready for a rest.

I sometimes avoid tasks and then when I finally face them, I want them done super quickly because I've come to detest them. When I get like this, only way forward is to walk away and go back to it when I've calmed down or when I have a better attitude.

I've got two grown sons who help me with stuff. I just wanna be able to do some things on my own for god's sake. Is that too much to ask? geez

On the upside, I'm seeing friends, making plans and feel proud of myself for learning new things like vegan cooking. Not sure about any progress in yoga (still rolling around all over the place) but at least I show up. And I'm going to approach new local publishers about my young adult novel. Just wish I could hire someone to get my house projects in order.

[uni]

Quito, I really admire all that you're doing! Vegan cooking, yoga, a novel - that's nothing to sneeze at

It sounds like a good idea to walk away for a while when a task starts getting to you. I often have to do that too. Otherwise I end up wrecking something and getting madder, usually at myself.

As for house projects, I'm a master at avoiding tasks like putting up blinds. My current blinds are staying up on a wing and a prayer because I'm gentle with them. One of these days they may fall down and then I'll be recruiting somebody to help put up new ones because power tools are needed to do them properly.

I'm glad you're seeing friends. I find that can make life better.