Hello,
This is my 2nd step to seeking help for myself in coping with my relationship with my sister who has been diagnosed with BPD, the first was getting some literature. It`s been a really long ride but in short I have had custody of her son for 5 months now and our relationship has been really going downhill since I started the process almost a year ago. It was me or adoption. Of course she wanted her son back but that was not the way it was going to happen as such, she does see her son on a regular basis but these days I`m not spending time with them because I cannot STAND her. Quite frankly it doesn`t seem like anyone can.
My latest issue I guess is that whenever I make a plan with her it never ever goes according to how we discussed. I understand things go awry sometimes but for every single plan it gets frustrating. Today I was too meet her on the bus, I told her son this is what was to happen. She wasn`t on the bus and I went to the wrong location. She did find me but it wouldn`t have happened if she was on the bus in the first place. i had called just before I left to confirm what was happening.
Anyway, let`s just say I got mad and I am trying to be aware of these feelings and not burst out but it is so difficult. I can`t talk to her about these issues, she never sees my side, everything is about her but I`m the one looking like I have BPD sometimes and not her. There are so many issues. She told me today to have some faith in her but how can I have faith when things like this keep happening. Today was really minor or seems so minor but one on top of a million....I can`t take much more.
I`m pretty sure friends are tired of hearing me vent and I`m tired or ruining time with friends by venting.
Thank you for letting me rant. I do hope soon to meet up with her, hopefully she`s willing and start over. She needs to know why I get so upset and how we can work on things...and start off our meeting on a positive note...that`s really important.
Beth
This is my 2nd step to seeking help for myself in coping with my relationship with my sister who has been diagnosed with BPD, the first was getting some literature. It`s been a really long ride but in short I have had custody of her son for 5 months now and our relationship has been really going downhill since I started the process almost a year ago. It was me or adoption. Of course she wanted her son back but that was not the way it was going to happen as such, she does see her son on a regular basis but these days I`m not spending time with them because I cannot STAND her. Quite frankly it doesn`t seem like anyone can.
My latest issue I guess is that whenever I make a plan with her it never ever goes according to how we discussed. I understand things go awry sometimes but for every single plan it gets frustrating. Today I was too meet her on the bus, I told her son this is what was to happen. She wasn`t on the bus and I went to the wrong location. She did find me but it wouldn`t have happened if she was on the bus in the first place. i had called just before I left to confirm what was happening.
Anyway, let`s just say I got mad and I am trying to be aware of these feelings and not burst out but it is so difficult. I can`t talk to her about these issues, she never sees my side, everything is about her but I`m the one looking like I have BPD sometimes and not her. There are so many issues. She told me today to have some faith in her but how can I have faith when things like this keep happening. Today was really minor or seems so minor but one on top of a million....I can`t take much more.
I`m pretty sure friends are tired of hearing me vent and I`m tired or ruining time with friends by venting.
Thank you for letting me rant. I do hope soon to meet up with her, hopefully she`s willing and start over. She needs to know why I get so upset and how we can work on things...and start off our meeting on a positive note...that`s really important.
Beth
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