Relations with my son and his family...

[Paul57]

I haven’t posted in a long time…hello uni and @AJ and all. Hope things have been going your way through the pandemic years. Things have certainly been turned upside down by this crisis. The isolation, disappearing goods and services, including health care, and the traumatic effects of the disease itself have made life on the East Coast difficult. I don’t know if there any more of us on here now, but I doubt it. Social media has distracted use from these sorts of resources.

I have had the pleasure of having my son and daughter-in-law move back here with my granddaughter and, now, my grandson. When we heard the news in February, just before the COVID-19 outbreak, we were overjoyed. Then, when March 5th (?) came my family’ trip home became two weeks in a rental unit in isolation, then the lockdown conditions in a new home, purchased on the basis of a virtual tour.

Folks, things have not been easy. The financial, etc., stresses have been quite extreme it’s true; but the social stresses have been appalling. I’ve become unnaturally withdrawn, particularly with my family. My mood has been so low and anxiety levels at an all-time high and I’ve not wanted to be around people for their sakes. As a result, things have been strained with my son and I, and I have missed a great deal of opportunity to spend time with my grandkids.

I just wanted to get that off of my chest in the most friendly and supportive environment I’ve found yet. I look forward to any comments on this post and wish you all the best of times in this ‘brave new world’... I must use one of these sadly out of date digital devices to set some reminders to check back in. My memory stinks these days!

[RunningKnitter]

Hello Paul!

I am so sorry you are having such a rough time. I am glad you felt you could come here to share. I hope you'll feel welcome to continue to post and share!

[AJ]

Hi Paul57. Thank you for the greeting. It's nice to hear from you again. It sounds like you have a lot to deal with. I was in Hawaii when Covid hit. I made it home on the last flight from there to Canada, and left behind a severe storm warning for the island. Whew.

Buying a house is very stressful in the best of circumstances, never mind with all the pandemic challenges. It can be a financial burden and the logistics of all the things that need to be done can feel overwhelming. Even without Covid at the time, selling and buying a new house and moving certainly gave me anxiety.

Perhaps short visits with family might be an option? Is sharing a little of how you're feeling something you can do with them? Do you have any other support?

There have been many things about Covid that have been challenging. The biggest one for me, besides worrying about Covid itself is the disconnection with others that came with it. We communicate with our words, our body language, our facial expressions and masking made that difficult. Even the physical distance from others felt strange. Many activities that give people an opportunity to interact were cancelled, for some who participated in activities like that once a week bingo game, or swim at the pool, the shut down and isolation were very difficult, down right painful.

Unfortunately we can't recover lost time with family, but the present and future enable us to do so. I hope you're feeling better soon Paul57. Keep in touch.

[Paul57]

Thank you both for your thoughts. I have made some small steps with my kids. It won’t be easy but it’s a start. AJ, I agree with you on the isolation. People no longer speak to one another, they avert their gazes. It is really disconcerting.

I’ll try to keep in touch; my memory sabotages me frequently!

Take care and give uni my regards.

[AJ]

Uni is still lurking but I will also pass on the message.

[uni]

Hello Paul57, and thank you for thinking of me -- and hello AJ, thanks for the message. I haven't even been lurking for awhile, I've actually been busy and doing a bit of travelling, so it's high time I checked in here!

Paul57 I'm sorry to hear how difficult the last couple of years have been for you. I really hope that, little by little, things improve in the coming days and weeks.

I too have had to fight over-isolation and too much anxiety, but my circumstances have been less stressful than yours. I can also relate to isolating in order to avoid ruining things for others. Sometimes the others don't understand we do it for their sake. Those bugaboos named depression and anxiety are sneaky creatures and tell us a lot of lies. It's hard to counter them... but not impossible.

I see no easy solutions or quick fixes to any of it, but I'm a believer in little steps leading to improvement, mainly because that seems to work best for me. You took a couple of good steps by just posting on here again, and that counts for a lot. I hope you'll keep checking in. I agree that things are quieter on this type of site than places like Facebook, but somehow there's a special feel here of being among friends and kindred spirits. As the other Paul used to say "take care" and I hope you start to feel a bit better soon.

[Paul57]

uni Thanks…I miss the other Paul...

I had my first experience with virtual peer groups support today. It left me terribly confused but it was my first time. I must send an email to register for next week..

And you are right, there are far fewer here, but a much nicer environment!

uniRunningKnitter AJ thanks for your support!

[Paul57]

uni RunningKnitter, AJ...had a second attempt at virtual group. Failed miserably. One can only try; devastating when you realize your last hopes are down the drain

[AJ]

Hi Paul57. If you'd like to expand on your comment Paul57 I'd be happy to listen. Are there other types of support that have been helpful in the past?

[RunningKnitter]

Hi Paul57 , I am so sorry to hear it didn't go well. Do you mind sharing specifically what didn't go well with the virtual group? I am glad you feel you can share here.

[Paul57]

Hi folks. I don’t think it’s the fault of the volunteers who run most everything, but the group is, not surprisingly, mainly funded by the government. The civil service here is no different than I have found elsewhere, a core of people with integrity and far more whom are just drawing a paycheque. The first meeting, run by an experienced volunteer, was hesitantly hopeful, despite the confusion around the technology (Zoom, shouldn’t be any great challenge). Last night’s session was a technical mess and I couldn’t relate to the ramblings of the other participants. Could just as easily be me as them but it felt pointless. Does that make sense?

[AJ]

The technical issues sound like they were very disruptive. That would be enough to put me off.

[Paul57]

Yes AJ, the flow of the session was broken by the distraction.

I know the process now, though. No reason not to keep it in the toolkit for a try later.

[Jonah]

I am sorry to you have a toughtime!

[Paul57]

Hello, folks. It has been an eventful winter/spring. I have not posted. I am having a “Come to Jesus” moment, (if you will pardon the expression). My feeling is that, somewhere along the way, I lost the path. I am truly sorry that I don’t contribute more often. The self isolationism of the past ten(!) years is catching up with me. I have started cognitive processing therapy for my PTSD. Hope all are well AJ, uni, et al.