Hi all,
I've been trying for some time now to find a forum for family members of someone who is bipolar and so far no such luck. I found this website just by browsing looking for group support systems in my province.
My name is Megan and I am currently engaged to my dual diagnoses fiance for 2 years. He is bipolar and also has a drug addiction.
I guess I just wanted to vent, write, and to see if I can find anyone to relate to me.
These past 2 years together have been a crazy roller coaster ride to say the least. I've gotten pretty down on myself, I sought the help of a therapist and picked myself back up again but I find that once it starts going good it goes bad again.
My fiance suffers from extreme paranoia, anxiety, insecurity. He is constantly questioning me and needing to be reassured and over analyzing everything.
I feel I have to prove my love to him and it gets so frustrating just continually answering the same questions over and over. He regularly sees a therapist as well as a psychiatrist to get help with these issues but it seems to get better for awhile, then REALLY bad again.
I have read 3 or 4 bipolar books, I know the illness and what I should do in situations but reading about it and doing it are two different things.
I just get so upset, frustrated and angry at him. I have no patients for the repetitive questions, it's driving me NUTS! At the start of this relationship I handled it, but now it's just getting hard. I got help, learned how to deal with my anger and frustrations, learned where it was coming from but I still get really down on myself when I don't handle the situation like I should.
I understand it is his illness and not his fault so when he asks something for the 100th time I really try just to answer without showing my frustration but alas, it is difficult.
There are times when things are so good, perfect almost. We are so in love, planning our wedding together then it just goes bad and I get in a state of hopelessness. I understand he needs me to be the cargiver, he needs my support, my positivity and my understanding and I just feel like at times I just can't give that to him. The pressure of having to be so good to him and for him just gets to me and I have little breakdowns where I just need to think, recover and then I can be there for him. I guess I just feel guilty for not always being there to help him in the right way and then I beat myself up over it.
Along with the bipolar illness he also has a substance abuse problem. He has been clean and sober 2 years this October (yay for him!) but this is also very hard to deal with. I just feel like a failure and that I'm no good sometimes, I try my best but at times I feel I just make him worst.
I love him more than anything and just want someone to understand. The response I got from my therapist all the time was "Maybe you can't do this", I HATED hearing that! I know I can and WANT to do this, I just want someone to listen.
Thanks for listening/reading
Meg.
I've been trying for some time now to find a forum for family members of someone who is bipolar and so far no such luck. I found this website just by browsing looking for group support systems in my province.
My name is Megan and I am currently engaged to my dual diagnoses fiance for 2 years. He is bipolar and also has a drug addiction.
I guess I just wanted to vent, write, and to see if I can find anyone to relate to me.
These past 2 years together have been a crazy roller coaster ride to say the least. I've gotten pretty down on myself, I sought the help of a therapist and picked myself back up again but I find that once it starts going good it goes bad again.
My fiance suffers from extreme paranoia, anxiety, insecurity. He is constantly questioning me and needing to be reassured and over analyzing everything.
I feel I have to prove my love to him and it gets so frustrating just continually answering the same questions over and over. He regularly sees a therapist as well as a psychiatrist to get help with these issues but it seems to get better for awhile, then REALLY bad again.
I have read 3 or 4 bipolar books, I know the illness and what I should do in situations but reading about it and doing it are two different things.
I just get so upset, frustrated and angry at him. I have no patients for the repetitive questions, it's driving me NUTS! At the start of this relationship I handled it, but now it's just getting hard. I got help, learned how to deal with my anger and frustrations, learned where it was coming from but I still get really down on myself when I don't handle the situation like I should.
I understand it is his illness and not his fault so when he asks something for the 100th time I really try just to answer without showing my frustration but alas, it is difficult.
There are times when things are so good, perfect almost. We are so in love, planning our wedding together then it just goes bad and I get in a state of hopelessness. I understand he needs me to be the cargiver, he needs my support, my positivity and my understanding and I just feel like at times I just can't give that to him. The pressure of having to be so good to him and for him just gets to me and I have little breakdowns where I just need to think, recover and then I can be there for him. I guess I just feel guilty for not always being there to help him in the right way and then I beat myself up over it.
Along with the bipolar illness he also has a substance abuse problem. He has been clean and sober 2 years this October (yay for him!) but this is also very hard to deal with. I just feel like a failure and that I'm no good sometimes, I try my best but at times I feel I just make him worst.
I love him more than anything and just want someone to understand. The response I got from my therapist all the time was "Maybe you can't do this", I HATED hearing that! I know I can and WANT to do this, I just want someone to listen.
Thanks for listening/reading
Meg.
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