No, I'm not bipolar...

[Ambe]

I feel my experiences are being disregarded. I have depression and I have been coping with my daughter’s illness since she was in her late teens (she’s 28). My husband, who isn’t my daughter’s father, and I had many difficult years because he wanted me to do the tough love with her. He also thought I was self-destructing. This was at a time when I was not ready to be as objective with my daughter. There was one instance where I just about left my husband. He and I have come to an understanding that I NEED to help her or I would not be able to deal with the guilt if something happened.

I feel you want validation on what you have already decided what you need to do.

I wish you good luck with your situation.

Take care
Ambe

[paul m]

Hello schmadrian. I'm sorry but when I try and reply to questions I can only base my answers on what I know. Hypothetical questions are beyond my capabilities.

CAMH is the largest teaching hospital in Cda for mental illnesses and addictions. They have a large section on bipolar and they also have a lot of info on concurrent disorders. They will even mail to you, free of charge ,which ever information brochures you wish. On their site they also have a lot of stats about mental illness, including ones about what percent of people choose not to medicate etc.

Woody provided a link to that site for you a while ago. I am sure that you will be able to look up the statisics you asked for there as well as I can look them up. It's a great site. Stats Can also has statstics as does WHO(world health organization) Take Care. paul m

[schmadrian]

Thanks, Paul.

Yes, I've been checking out information from all sites provided. But I've also wanted to get the input from members here; Googling organizations is a pretty simple task, but brings a different set of results than talking to people on a forum.

As always, your feedback has been very helpful.

Ambe, I feel that something got lost in translation; I really don't know how to respond to what you've said, sorry.

[Atlantis]

Hi,
I have hesitated in offering my advice simply because I have not faced a situtation like your friend is facing and my daughter is only 11, but a child is a child no matter if that child is 11 or 20 so I will try to offer some advice and hope it is somewhat helpful.

When i was first diagnosed, even though i accepted the diagnosis, I read through the signs and symptoms of bipolar from many, many, many sites...

I always found the term racing thoughts to be so vague (i guess i had been having racing thoughts as a part of hypomania for so many years i didn't realize there was anthing wrong with that thought process) and it was really only when I had a full on manic episode and the racing thoughts exploded to the maximum I truly understood what they were, but now i know what to look for when I am feeling hypomanic. This is only one example of one symptom.

I guess what i am trying to say is tell your friend the more information she and her son can read, even if he is still in denial, he may eventually recognize the similarities between the symptoms of bipolar and his life...

Knowledge is the key!

As for the pot smoking issue, he will have to tell his doctor that, many people with bipolar have substance abuse problems, he is certainly not alone in that category...First step when they get home, make an appt with a pdoc, that is the most imp step...I'm not saying quitting pot is not imp too but he needs to start to see a pdoc on a reg basis, then the pot issue might work itself out, when he is stable and on the right meds, who knows right.

The son may not agree to giving up pot right away but he may agree to going to a doctor.

I wish your friend the best, she is not in an easy situation.

[schmadrian]

Thanks, Atlantis.

My friend and her son are now en route back home. The last time I spoke to her, she felt that they both were dreading going back...maybe for different reasons.

I guess him acknowledging that he has bipolar is the crux. Without that, this is going to be an endless series of engagements, with attrition being a real consequence.

The entire situation frustrates her, to see her son where he is, how he is...and of course, being a single parent, she's going through this alone. (The dynamic between her and her son was already wonky from my vantage point...and it's only now that she's wondering if his bipolar state has been building for years. Many times she'd relate stuff to me and I'd think 'That's not acceptable. Why is she allowing him to behave this way? That she has a history of co-dependence didn't help, but viewing these events through the looking-glass of a 'retroactive diagnosis' changes the perspective entirely. What appeared to be an unruly, tangental teenager was most likely a bipolar in gestation.)

Thanks for your thoughts; I'm passing on to her whatever seems of value; 'knowledge is power'.

[schmadrian]

An update from on the road:

"The only thing he will agree to is to see the nurse at outpatient place to assist him in stepping off meds. He can't wait to get home and get high: "It helps with the sadness." Any other discussion ends in anger. hold on it's gonna be a bumpy ride!"

So here we have a twenty year old young man who at this point, more than six months into his bipolar journey, is intent on his own path.

Which of course, leaves me staring at the screen.

[Woody]

I think as a hole, we have provided you with the information that you require and that we are starting to go around in circles. Therefore, I am going to close this thread and consider the subject closed.