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    Joke Lively

    Ok let's liven this place up! More jokes

    -- There were five peanuts walking down the street and one was assaulted... peanut.

    -- Where am I going, and why am I in this handbasket?

    -- Goo grief, this keyboar oesn't have any 's!

    -- Nobody goes there, it's too crowded.

    -- The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

    -- I wired my dryer backwards. Now it spits out extra socks.

    uni

    ~ it's always worth it ~

    #2
    thanks uni. u made me laugh
    dave

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      #3
      Good Jokes Uni. Here's a couple for computer savvy people like you and I. Take Care. paul m

      A wife send her husband an text on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen". The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them". Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely broken now".

      Murphy's Laws of Computing

      1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. 2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete. 3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it. 4. When the going gets tough, upgrade. 5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction. 6. To err is human.. to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural. 7. He who laughs last probably made a back-up. 8. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer. 9. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine. 10. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions. 11. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
      "Alone we can do so little;
      Together we can do so much"
      Helen Keller

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        #4
        Thanks for those, Paul. I love the one about the frozen windows And the rest are all too true!
        uni

        ~ it's always worth it ~

        Comment


          #5
          I found a bunch more jokes while going through some family history papers (my filing system leaves something to be desired). I may or may not have told them on the forum before, but whatever...

          -- A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

          -- Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

          -- Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"

          -- I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I didn't see any.

          -- Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

          -- A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

          -- And finally, I sent ten puns into a joke contest hoping to win $100. No pun in ten did

          Au reservoir for now
          uni

          ~ it's always worth it ~

          Comment


            #6
            LOL

            Keep 'em coming Uni and Paul. They make my work day brighter.

            Comment


              #7
              A man walked into a doctor's office with a frog on his head. The doctor looked at him and said "how long have you had this?" The frog replied "A while. It started out as a growth on my toe."

              Comment


                #8
                Hello Hope307 and Uni, you both have brought smiles to my face.

                Here's a few that I hope people will enjoy. Take Care. paul m

                Every path has some puddles.

                I'm trying to get over my addiction to A.T.M. machines, but I keep getting withdrawal symptoms.

                Yawning is our bodies way of saying that our battery is low.

                I finally completed another item on my bucket list, to go skinny dipping. Unfortunately it cost me my membership at the YMCA.

                Note to self. Hospitals don't like it when you randomly unplug things to charge your phone.

                Got hungry the other night and I couldn't find a bite to eat. So i turned my keyboard over and shook it over my desk. I know have snacks for a week.

                I didn't actually lose my mind, it just got scared and ran away.
                "Alone we can do so little;
                Together we can do so much"
                Helen Keller

                Comment


                  #9
                  Thanks Paul, those are cute! I find that ATM addiction a hard one to break . On the up side, I now know where my next snack is coming from
                  uni

                  ~ it's always worth it ~

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