another med change....

[astronaut]

So strange how differently medications affect each, individual person.

[Re-O]

Hi Curiousone,

That's good to hear. It sounds like things are feeling a bit more positive.

[uni]

Hello Curiousone. Thanks for the update, I'm glad there's positive stuff happening. And like Anne has said, every little bit counts

[curiousone]

Well, it's been a little while since I've posted. not a whole lot changed in the last while. I've been continuing counselling and finally saw a pdoc. My diagnosis is still not 100%, thinking long term depression and anxiety disorders, but not rulling out bipolar or borderline personality. Another med change is on the way, hoping it'll be a smooth one. My pdoc also recommended group emotional regulation therapy. Perhaps these things will help as I've been at a bit of a standstill for a while now. Don't get me wrong, it's nice not freaking out all the time, but I still want more out of life then how I've been feeling. I don't want to spend the rest of my life hiding out in my house and sleeping on the couch. Hope all is well with everyone else.

[astronaut]

Hey curiousone,

Do you find it frustrating not knowing your exact diagnosis? This may sound strange but I couldn't stand not knowing if I had MDD or Bipolar. I wanted the correct label. For some reason it helped me to know. I got the Bipolar II label but I happen to disagree with it from time to time. Maybe the label doesn't mean much in the end, especially if I go on doubting it and fighting it! --Sometimes there are just too many contradictions inside my head.

I hope the med changes go smoothly

astronaut

[curiousone]

Hi astronaut,
I do find it a bit frustrating not knowing exactly what the proper diagnosis is. I've been diagnosed a couple of different things by doctors over the years, and I just want to know so I can hope to better understand and get the correct treatment. Some things, such as counselling, are good regardless of the diagnosis. When it comes to things like medication however, the correct diagnosis can help a great deal, or at least I hope. Anyway, I keep on trying in hopes that one day it will work itself out.

[astronaut]

You're right, the correct diagnosis sure does help in narrowing down the treatment options and makes it more likely that the correct meds will be used depending on your diagnosis. It can be so hard sometimes to tease out the correct diagnosis, especially if there is some comorbidity.

be well,
astronaut

[paul m]

Hello Curiousone. I'm of mixed emotions about getting the correct diagnosis. If the docs were 100% honest they might take years to correctly get a diagnosis. I'm not talking about wrong diagnosis in this case, they are all too common, but rather 100% accurate diagnosis.

There are several reasons why it could take a very long time to get a correct diagnosis. Take bipolar, some people suffer rapid changes from mania to depression while others only have a couple of episodes of severe mania over their entire life and all the rest are depressive, this extended time frame can make diagnosis difficult. Many parts of bipolar can result in border line personality disorder(BPD) like symptoms and the only way to truly tell is to treat the symptoms and see how the patient responds(BPD is generally treated different than Bipolar).

A drinking or drug problem can cause a wide variety of symptoms that might viewed as BPD, bipolar or MDD. Anxiety can cause a person to become depressed, remove the anxiety and the depression may clear up. Anxieties can also lead to self medication(taking a drink to get up the courage to dance for example). Self medication if extreme can lead to depression etc.

Another consideration is how good our own diagnostic skills are. I know that I didn't see anything wrong with some of my behaviours, although looking back now, some of them were clearly manic behaviour and others were definitely anti-social(in my case also a result of bipolar and not BPD). Because I didn't see anything wrong with my behaviours I never reported them to the doctor.

So in order to get a definite 100% accurate diagnosis can take a very long time as the symptoms may appear in only bits and pieces. Rather the docs should do a better job of identifying the symptoms and making sure that they don't make them worse. Take Care. paul m

[jennisk]

Good answer Paul! I missed you while you were on vacation!

[paul m]

Thx Jennisk. I missed you and the whole forum too. Take Care. paul m

Hello Everyone. In regards to my answer, I will add that I was wrongly treated for depression rather than bipolar for many years. The doctor was not wrong when he diagnosed me as depressed, I was depressed and had been for some time. However he should have worked closer with me to see what other symptoms popped up over time, not to mention checking to see if I was just in a depressive phase of bipolar.

Turns out that the anti-depressants fueled my manic fires. Slowly at first and then rapidly. At one point I didn't even bother to go see my doctor for about 18 mths and I was very manic during that whole time(I just called in for more prescriptions). Finally my behaviour became so bizzare my wife forced me to see a doctor again(a different one). Unfortunately in the in 6-7 yr time frame that I was mis diagnosed and improperly medicated I did ireversible damage to my professional standing and my finances(didn't do my reputation or marriage any good either).

So the doc was right in what he treated me for, but wrong in not following me up closely and continuing to examine all aspects of my life. Once he labbled me as depressed, he hardly ever saw me again. Unfortunately this is all too common and many people suffer because of this. Take Care. paul m