The agony of February 6th

[Jafar the wizard]

On Monday morning 06 FEB 2017 .. something happened .. something painful .. very painful for me ..
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I tried to overcome the this by getting busy but all in vain .. I couldn't focus on anything anymore ..
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Moreover .. my brain wasn't functioning well all the time .. My memory was confused .. if you ask me about my home address .. I will answer correctly at 3:00 pm .. fail to remember at 3:15 .. then remember again at 3:30 ..
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This memory malfunction drove me crazy .. its the first time in my life that I experience something like this .. I felt that I lost my mind completely ..
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At 6:00 pm same day .. things went worse & worse .. this fluctuation in memory is more frequent now .. few minute later .. I started doing stupid things .. I stepped out then back home then again stepped out then back home for more than seven times within an hour or less maybe ..
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Because I'm renting a basement apartment I didn't want people upstairs to notice anything .. it was embarrassing .. I just stepped out & called 911 .. at least I should do that before I loose my memory completely ..
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I realized that I left my health card at home with my wallet & door keys ..
Police responded instantly but came without ambulance .. they had to search me & realized that I'm only a good person who needs help .. they told me that I did the right thing ..
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They took me to hospital but I don't remember anything after that .. .. I woke up after midnight with handcuffs in my hands .. about five policemen men around me waiting for the doctor .. they say they had to do that because I was trying to harm myself & harm others too .. & they told me I tried to run away from them .. but I don't remember any of this .. ..

I apologized & they understood ..
the nurse gave me three shots of something I don't remember now .. but I remember them telling me what was it .. it was enough to calm me down & sleep ..
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I was released after being 24 hours in the hospital & I was happy to do that .. I had to take a taxi back home & managed to get in with a help from the land lady .. who seemed to be informed about the accident by the police .. maybe they wanted to check about the information I managed to remember & tell ..
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I stayed asleep at home for over 12 hours .. then started feeling normal & took a shower I needed desperately ..
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Now it's Thursday morning .. I feel much better .. I took the bus & went directly to the hospital .. I need to visit the hospital record department to get a copy every single detail they have about me ..
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Note :
All what I said above was true because other people confirmed it to me .. I don't remember what happened when we arrived in hospital but I remember almost everything else ..

[Neli]

Wow! that must have been frightening! Did you get any information/diagnosis about what was going on? Are you scared it might happen again? Did they put you on any new meds to help? I have issues with my memory (due to ECT) but nothing like that. Mainly long ago memories that I can't retrieve. They seem to be gone for good.

Hope you're doing better now Jafar. Hope the hospital was co-operative about giving you the records you asked for.

Neli

[Jafar the wizard]

Thanks neli
let's wait & see

[Battledepression]

Wow! Sorry to hear you went through that. It will be interesting to learn what caused this episode. Thank you for sharing.

[Jafar the wizard]

You're welcome Battledepression
we share because we're here ..

[Jafar the wizard]

The reason behind sharing this private experience is not for just sharing ..

morale of the story ..
Don't wait until it's too late .. Memory loss .. nervous breakdown .. Panic attack .. Whatever it is ...
Inform a friend or a neighbor or a relative or anyone you trust ..

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I had to call 911 because I'm a real lone wolf hhhhhh

No family in canada .. No brother or sister .. No parent or uncle or cousin .. No close friends .. And I don't usually inform my older son about these accidents in present term ..

Last but not least .. I would rather die than contact my x ..

[uni]

My heart goes out to you Jafar. I'm sorry to hear that you went through such an experience; it sounds very frightening. I'm glad things have calmed down and hope you can get the hospital records you need. Thank you for the reminder to reach out and inform someone when a crisis happens.

[paul m]

Hello Jafar. I'm sorry to hear what happened to you, but at the same time I'm glad that you did do the right thing and called 911. Secondly I'm glad that you had the courage to share the story with us and all of the anonymous readers that see these posts.

Unfortunately too many people die because they don't realize that they can call 911 and usually if you call 911 they are pretty good about it. Memory loss and confusion are not unusal when our brain boils over for what ever reason.

I agree that it would be better if we could tell someone in advance about our problems, but I also know how tough that can be. So don't feel bad about being a lone wolf, many of us are the same way even when we should know better. I hope that you don't suffer in that way again. Thx again for sharing. Take Care. paul m

P.S. I'm unsure where you live,but the hospital should be able to get your records without problem, although some of them like to sneak in a small charge in which case pleading poverty may incuce them to drop the fee. When you are able you might also want to ask the police about what they have recorded on their records. I say this because some day down the road some one may say "hey you are not ill , we are going to cut your pension or benefits unless you provide more proof that you are ill" (I can't remember if you said that you worked or not, talk about memory loss LOL).

Most police depts( not all) now only keep mental health interactions on file for 2 yrs as long as no charges were filed. So if you ever needed that record 2.5 yrs from now, it may be gone.

[AJ]

Jafar I'm so glad that you called 911. It must have been a truly frightful experience. Thank you for sharing this with us.

[Jafar the wizard]

Paul .. thanks for your important remarks .. you're absolutely right ..
take care

[Jafar the wizard]

AJ
Thank you for reacting ..
And .. thank you for showing interest ..

[Jafar the wizard]

Uni
its my pleasure to see you & everybody else reacting to these incidents with lot of awareness & understanding