Struggling with bipolar disorder

[Jafar the wizard]

People with bipolar disorder can have a serious problem in controlling their self confidence .. they reach the point where they need to stop being so confident of themselves .. they need to stop but they just can't .. they become overconfident & cross redlines .. and they only stop after crashing into something .. they only stop after doing something stupid or saying something stupid .. something that ruins everything good they did before .. something terrible that makes them lose friends & they suddenly fall from being in the top to being in bottom .. and their hypo mania turns into severe depression .. feeling terrible & guilty .. and it might take them weeks before recovering .. and slowly slowly they rise up .. gain self confidence & become happy .. and again .. they don't stop until they make another stupid mistake & fall in depression again .. and so on ..
..
Being aware of this is good .. but being aware but helpless feels soooo terrible ..

[Kaight]

Hi Jafar, thank you for sharing.

Helplessness is a very scary place to be. I am trying to move some of my helplessness into acceptance. I know acceptance can be hard to swallow... is this really how it is going to be for the rest of my life? Well, actually, I don't know... maybe one day I will be better... or maybe one day I will be much worse... Maybe this is as good as it gets. If so, then I should probably enjoy today... don't you think?

Sometimes this train of thought helps, sometimes it does not. I am grateful for the the times it does.

Take care,
Kaight

[Jafar the wizard]

Kaight
you're welcome .. Im happy to read your comment

[paul m]

Hello Jafar. I don't know why I didn't reply when you first posted this. But now that I have read it I know exactly what you mean. Very well put. Take Care. paul m

[Jafar the wizard]

Thank you for commenting Paul ..

[Jafar the wizard]

Kaight ..
Better late than never ..
it's 2020 now and I'm reading my post and your comment ..
" I should probably enjoy the day .. "
Actually that's exactly the right thing that any sane person should do ..
Unfortunately this is exactly the reason that makes people like me feel helpless .. because of failing to do what they should do ..
The train of thoughts you're talking about is one of my serious issues that I struggle with .. it seldomly helps .. and it can run out of control and reach no destination ..