Living with a wife or a girlfriend or even a close friend or a family member in the same place proved to be the wrong option for me .. and I raised the white flag in April 2019 and decided to live alone .. Have my own tiny place for myself ..
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My life is much better now .. Feeling lonely while being alone is less tragic than feeling lonely while living with someone .. It's hard to deny the fact that I can't keep annoying others and ask them to understand that I can't help it .. In the end it's a mental illness
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In brief my life during the past 2 years is a combination of acceptance , awareness and consideration .. all of this is depicted in frequent episodes of self isolation to avoid being seen in an embarrassing situation ..
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it's been known for a long time that sleeping disorders are core parts of bipolar disorder symptoms .. It's not only a matter of insomnia .. it can be the opposite and sleeping for very long hours ( My highest record was 24 hours so far ) ..
The worst part is actually waking up screaming after having a nightmare .. can you imagine how annoying can that be for people living with you ??? .. To be precise my screaming is just like a defense mechanism .. as if I do it to wake myself up and end the terror .. screaming or shouting is like being in pain but being aware in the same time .. sometimes I'm so aware that I remember being in a dream and knowing that it's just another bad dream that will end soon ..
during the past few nights i had several nightmares were I was waking up without screaming with a happy odd feeling .. I was telling people in my dream : it's just a bad dream and I'm just waiting to wake up and end this silly pathetic try to scare me ..
..
Unfortunately it's not always like that ..this morning the story was totally different and I was screaming helplessly without waking up .. actually my older son woke me up and told me that my screaming was louder than usual ( my son lives part time with me ) ..
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There should be some solutions for this .. Or maybe prescription for this .. I remember hearing about a medication that can help you have less nightmares .. and I remember reading about it too ( I wasn't dreaming , I hope ) .. If anybody can recommend a drug for this please mention it in a comment ..
Thank you ..
..
My life is much better now .. Feeling lonely while being alone is less tragic than feeling lonely while living with someone .. It's hard to deny the fact that I can't keep annoying others and ask them to understand that I can't help it .. In the end it's a mental illness
..
In brief my life during the past 2 years is a combination of acceptance , awareness and consideration .. all of this is depicted in frequent episodes of self isolation to avoid being seen in an embarrassing situation ..
..
it's been known for a long time that sleeping disorders are core parts of bipolar disorder symptoms .. It's not only a matter of insomnia .. it can be the opposite and sleeping for very long hours ( My highest record was 24 hours so far ) ..
The worst part is actually waking up screaming after having a nightmare .. can you imagine how annoying can that be for people living with you ??? .. To be precise my screaming is just like a defense mechanism .. as if I do it to wake myself up and end the terror .. screaming or shouting is like being in pain but being aware in the same time .. sometimes I'm so aware that I remember being in a dream and knowing that it's just another bad dream that will end soon ..
during the past few nights i had several nightmares were I was waking up without screaming with a happy odd feeling .. I was telling people in my dream : it's just a bad dream and I'm just waiting to wake up and end this silly pathetic try to scare me ..
..
Unfortunately it's not always like that ..this morning the story was totally different and I was screaming helplessly without waking up .. actually my older son woke me up and told me that my screaming was louder than usual ( my son lives part time with me ) ..
..
There should be some solutions for this .. Or maybe prescription for this .. I remember hearing about a medication that can help you have less nightmares .. and I remember reading about it too ( I wasn't dreaming , I hope ) .. If anybody can recommend a drug for this please mention it in a comment ..
Thank you ..
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