Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Trying to understand how I feel

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Trying to understand how I feel

    I canít describe it but something seems all wrong. I feel like I hardly know whatís real and whatís not. I feel like I could wake up from a dream any second now and everything would be totally different. I canít reach for the future and thatís scary. People my age have kids and live on their own and I canít even imagine. I donít think I could. I donít think I could take care of them. And it wouldnít be because I didnít know how, it would be because I physically couldnít cope with it. Maybe it would be different if I was in that place right now, but I feel like itís a struggle just to do what I do. My soul feels tired. I feel heavy. I try to think about lifestyle changes, but I always feel the same way. Like nothing I could possibly do would help. That no matter what, I would feel pain doing even what I love. Realizing that nothing I do will ever be enough. Feeling alone when no one is around, and sometimes crowded and irritable when they are. Feeling like nothing matters, like everything is just out of reach, like I am not strong enough to do anything on my own but I am the only one who can live my life and attempt to follow my dreams. Iím not really certain what my dreams are because any time I think about anything I feel simply overwhelmed and exhausted and I canít imagine what a dream is let alone what mine are. I fear that even if I achieve my dreams nothing will change and I will still feel the same way. I keep doing what Iím doing but it keeps getting worse. Iím tired.
    I just had to get that out somehow. If you got this far, thanks for reading.

    #2
    Dear PaperStars: oh my gosh I feel I'm in the same boat as you! Heading on a sea with no name, to a place that's not mine cause I really don't know if I belong there or if I would even like it there cause really I don't know what I like or where I like! I don't feel anything but sadness sometimes and people tell me I'm doing better and I want to believe them but i can't because I can't feel anything that is better... Well i just can't feel anything so what am I supposed to do just believe them? Take their words for it cause I don't know what I feel or know what my word is worth, cause it's just blank. Sorry for the rant, if you've read this far I THANK YOU. If anything I hope it helped you feel not so alone.

    Comment


      #3
      DLove4U, thank you! Iím glad to know Iím not the only one to feel this way. I donít know if this is just life or growing up or something more.

      ďHeading on a sea with no name, to a place that's not mineĒ Wow I can really relate to that. Though I do hope that someday I will make it to a place that IS mine, I feel right now that I donít really belong anywhere. Though I donít feel sad all the time, I flicker a lot between sadness, irritability, feeling nothing, confusion, and being relatively okay but it never seems to end and I canít seem to find any control over any of it.

      Comment

      Working...
      X