Do you ever go through a period of time where you have a cluster of losses and upsetting stuff going on around you? I call these times "clusters" and I seem to be in one of them.
For almost a month, one of my siblings has been fighting potentially life threatening M.S.complications, and continues to do so. Two weeks ago another sibling was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Suffice it to say I've been doing a lot of praying.
Also about two weeks ago, the psychiatrist I've been seeing for more years than I care to count died unexpectedly. One might think that wouldn't be someone to grieve over, but I find myself doing so. Despite the differences of opinion we sometimes had, I figure he saved my life.
In addition, a good friend who has twice tried to take her own life is going through a bad depression again.
And a long time member of a club I belong to, and the nicest person you could want to meet, has been diagnosed with terminal cancer.
All of these make the breakup with my boyfriend seem like small potatoes, but I have to be honest and say I'm really struggling there just the same.
Still, I seem to be getting by more-or-less ok. If the above mentioned people are doing the best they can and handling things with courage, then I will try to do so too. Sometimes life is so blasted unfair to people, it makes me angry and then it makes me cry and then I do a bit of accepting reality, and pray some more, and feel a bunch of different feelings in turn.
I know I have to look after myself day to day, and thank heaven I have learned that. Posting on here is one of the ways that helps me look after myself. I remain eternally grateful for this forum and the people on it.
For almost a month, one of my siblings has been fighting potentially life threatening M.S.complications, and continues to do so. Two weeks ago another sibling was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Suffice it to say I've been doing a lot of praying.
Also about two weeks ago, the psychiatrist I've been seeing for more years than I care to count died unexpectedly. One might think that wouldn't be someone to grieve over, but I find myself doing so. Despite the differences of opinion we sometimes had, I figure he saved my life.
In addition, a good friend who has twice tried to take her own life is going through a bad depression again.
And a long time member of a club I belong to, and the nicest person you could want to meet, has been diagnosed with terminal cancer.
All of these make the breakup with my boyfriend seem like small potatoes, but I have to be honest and say I'm really struggling there just the same.
Still, I seem to be getting by more-or-less ok. If the above mentioned people are doing the best they can and handling things with courage, then I will try to do so too. Sometimes life is so blasted unfair to people, it makes me angry and then it makes me cry and then I do a bit of accepting reality, and pray some more, and feel a bunch of different feelings in turn.
I know I have to look after myself day to day, and thank heaven I have learned that. Posting on here is one of the ways that helps me look after myself. I remain eternally grateful for this forum and the people on it.
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