But I wasn't depressed,,, am now

[WonderingY]

I am sooooooo loosing this battle.. I'll never be a 100th whi I was.. it's gone. I can hardly even talk anymore.. effing smashed medical system

[AJ]

Hi WonderingY. I have had my own arduous journey through the medical system, and I know how to navigate thru it from my working days.

I believe Uni asked you if it was a family doctor or a psychiatrist treating you. The other thought I had was perhaps talking to your pharmacist. A pharmacist can help you manage side effects and if applicable an appropriate withdrawal plan for a drug, or change to another drug with you and your doctor. You mentioned a neurologist. Sometimes one of the biggest challenges is getting care coordinated so that all the health professionals are on the same page.

The other hurdle and it's a biggy, is being heard. You know how you feel physically. You know what is good, what is manageable, what is not at all ok. You know how you're doing emotionally. Unless all sense of reality has been lost (which can unfortunately happen in mental illness), you are the best judge of how things are going.

If the plan isn't working for you, then maybe a new plan should be considered. Do you have a friend or family member that can be a support in advocating for yourself?

Drugs in and of themselves only go so far. They can be helpful, even lifesaving, no help at all, or totally inappropriate. They come with side effects, some manageable and some not. They come with drug interactions, drug disease interactions, and a whole host of considerations. They are still an important part of treatment in many types of health conditions.

I think our toolbox needs to contain many different types of tools to build a healthy foundation for our life. A support system or family, friends, health professionals, sometimes medication, and the very important self care tools are all part of a useful toolbox.

[WonderingY]

I've had a handful of doctors through telehealth. On a doctors wait list 5 yrs. The local pharmacist doesn't believe in mental illnesses.. try getting care in rural canukistan.. just try.. I paid for near 50 yrs 4 everybody else.. mostly the ones that'll never put a penny in

[WonderingY]

Now my head is full of self harm thought I never had just 2 escape. Auto correct was always a nuisance now it's a need to talk or type

[uni]

Hello WonderingY. I totally get that you feel very afraid. I'm sure I would too. Good for you posting in spite of it, and getting some of your thoughts out.

The plan referred to, I'm confused as to what it is, and how long it's for.

I really can't think of what else to say, other than I'm rooting for you

[WonderingY]

The plan is there is no plan. Get me off celexa then the usual renfrew county WAS treatment.. the WAS treatment is wait and see

[Hopeful_2022]

Now my head is full of self harm thought I never had just 2 escape. Auto correct was always a nuisance now it's a need to talk or type

Hello Wondering Y

Sorry that you are going through all of this. You are right, when things feel to much things can start feeling hopeless to a point where we start thinking about things we have not thought about before. When you say that your head is full of self-harm, have you acted upon those thoughts? Do you mind sharing more on what those thoughts are?

[WonderingY]

Just that every second my mind is more confused and there's less of 142 iq me. I feel like a 3 yr old girl. Can hardly read write or talk.. the less I see of me and any help I feel only one solution

[WonderingY]

Well there I'm done.. had a hand to write these few words. I can't spell read or write anymore. Don't recognize anything hardly around me.. see things that aren't there. Don't see things that are there.. May you all have better luck fighting,,,yes fighting the medical system than me

[AJ]

WonderingY can you tell more about being done? What does that mean for you?

[WonderingY]

3 months ago
141 to 143 IQ
Run,not jog 6 miles in 42 minutes
Best by any standard on earth class technical mechanic. Engine builders world wide contacted me for help
Best and most well maintained house you'll see in this area of the county
Not to dwell on this point, but quite literally a stud of 21 year old proportion according to females of any age
When I say I was AAAAAAAAAAAAA I'm not kidding
After the discontinuation of clonazepam and I went into the local hospital seizuring there was a slight possibility of TIA so I was sent to neurosurgeon. The 37 yr old assistant wanted to date my 61 yr old self when she saw the results, my wit, speed, strength, dexterity

FAST FORWARD TO doctor oeirgjeioruhjeorjhfjerjfcokcok valentines clonazepam ending

Zero strength, from 600 sit-ups a day and 6 miles to zero sit-ups n zero miles.. zero strength
can't fix shit
hardly identify my pets or friends
barely drive safely
can't organize my house
gut distended out a foot,,, ya there goes six pack
stress rash everywhere
skins all fallen off my mouth,,I choke on it
anx cough steadily
Have 500 screwed thoughts for every half normal one
From a stunningly extensive vocabulary to NONE
crap water 10 times a day
3 showers a day and I still stink like a sewer
Need I go on

PHUKD

Enclosed are pics from 4 months ago till now including beard, sweat, ugly rash

[WonderingY]

second pic

[AJ]

Thank you for your reply WonderingY. Do you have the same family doctor now that you did 4 months ago? If so, has he or she not noticed the dramatic difference between then and now?

[WonderingY]

As said b4 I'm telehealth I get 1 out of 6.. I told u our med system is not one where u put in then get 2 take out.. no no. There's those who put in,those who take out. 2 different groups.. I'm a 50 yr putter inner.. I can rot in a shallow grave behind an asylum

[AJ]

Telehealth has it's limitations. I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time getting the help you need.