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Thanks for loving me even when I push you away

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    #16
    Hi Wantstounderstand. I can relate to the exhaustion one feels being pushed away and pulled back repeatedly, but for different reasons. It is exhausting. I'm glad you found your way to the forum.
    AJ

    Humans punish themselves endlessly
    for not being what they believe they should be.
    -Don Miguel Ruiz-

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      #17
      I am finding that even with trying to take time for myself and putting myself in my DW's shoes, as well as the Family Connections Program and independent counselling. I am still feeling down, and unhappy. DW has had a lot of medical issues lately.. along with Health Anxiety ( on top of other things) and yesterday she had her Scope done and was with my in laws for after the appointment. She sold her car so relies on me to either take her to to take the care ( which is very difficult now as she gets anxiety driving east to my work so stays home unless I am home and than she takes the truck ..... I was going to pick her up after work, but decided that sue to traffic it was better to either wait until after rush hour or she would have my FIL drop her off.. As much as I felt bad for her having to go through that procedure as she can't take any freezing and choose not to take the sedative as it was Fentenayl ... It couldn't have been an easy thing to go though. I am finding I am being worn down by the negativity and the complaining and having to be there a lot due to her anxiety and when she has really bad anxiety I have to find support for her as she has trouble being alone, or than I worry about her while she is home. when we talk there is a lot of negative... I love her so much but this is draining and I am trying to utilize my supports as much as I can but some days I am not sure if I can spend the rest of my life like this.. When she messages me I get anxiety becasue I am wondering what she will be complaining about now or what is going wrong now... I find it difficult to communicate this with her because as you know people that suffer from BPD are very sensitive and even with Validation I don't think that she would take it well...

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        #18
        Hello wantstounderstand. Hopefully the DBT will start to pay off quickly. For some people it does. Communicating with someone with bipolar can be difficult. However if you can find a space where she is neither seriously manic nor majorly depressed you may be able to have a conversation with her about your feelings. Take Care. paul m
        "Alone we can do so little;
        Together we can do so much"
        Helen Keller

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          #19
          Just to clarify my DW has BPD not Bipolar. And yes I will continue to have conversations with her when things are neutral. Thank you for the support

          *** I just wanted to update my wife has been Diagnosed with Bipolar, At first they thought it was 1 now they are saying 2. She has a full psycological assessment coming up in early june ( if she goes ) she is still back and for about treatment ( specifically meds ) and the extra steps that need to be taken... ***
          Last edited by wantstounderstand; May 25th, 2019, 01:06 PM.

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            #20
            BPD = borderline personality disorder for those of you that may not know.
            AJ

            Humans punish themselves endlessly
            for not being what they believe they should be.
            -Don Miguel Ruiz-

            Comment


              #21
              Thanks for the clarification AJ. I think those get mixed up a lot.
              uni

              ~ it's always worth it ~

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                #22
                Originally posted by uni View Post
                Hi wantstounderstand. Being exhausted is no picnic, that's for sure. It has a way of making everything look worse. Did you glean anything helpful at your group on Tuesday?
                The whole 12 weeks was amazing... I learned a lot with the whole thing, and there were a few cry sessions as well.. It's great to hear stories and experiences from other people... I look forward to finding a support group.. Thanks for asking!!!

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                  #23
                  Originally posted by paul m View Post
                  Hello wantstounderstand. Hopefully the DBT will start to pay off quickly. For some people it does. Communicating with someone with bipolar can be difficult. However if you can find a space where she is neither seriously manic nor majorly depressed you may be able to have a conversation with her about your feelings. Take Care. paul m


                  ****** Since things are so up in the air at the moment.. Her DBT has been paused while she gets on meds and allows things to hopefully settle down. However the med they started her on is making it difficult for her to breath.. so I am not sure what is going to happen next... *****

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                    #24
                    Hello . Sorry to hear about that. Take Care. paul m
                    "Alone we can do so little;
                    Together we can do so much"
                    Helen Keller

                    Comment


                      #25
                      I hope your sister's meds and DBT both get back on track soon. And it's wonderful to hear that you got so much out of the group sessions!
                      uni

                      ~ it's always worth it ~

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