Family member ill

[paul m]

Hello Leila63. I've read a lot of articles about envoirmental factors and mental illness.

As you say, one of the theories is that those who may have a gentic weakness may never suffer from the illness at all until something major happens.

A bad marriage, especially where one feels trapped, could definitely set off an illness. Being a distance away is a factor as well . I hope you have a good visit with her tommorrow.

In regards to your zyprexa, you sound like I used to be . Even used the same word "con" . Of course I never told a single untruth to a shrink ever, honest . Take Care. paul m

[Woody]

Situation on the home front does not sound like a healthy environment. Perhaps her stay away from home will help for both. At least now you know, there a one month reprieve and everyone can let time take is course.

ei Zyprexa ... perhaps a small adjustment to see if it makes a difference?

[leila63]

30 days is good. Unfortunately she is now back to denying she has an illness and not talking about her delusions and auditory hallucinations to the doctors.but the good thing is she spilled het guts after her attempt (still affected by the meds maybe) so I don't think the doctors will be fooled.

Another good thing is that I'll only be going to the hospital every 3 days so hopefully it won't be too much of a trigger.

See my pdoc on Thursday so hoping that I can start tapering off Zyprexa. Things I've read about withdrawal sound a bit daunting but I'm hoping for a new me. I think a lot of your personality is brain chemistry so I find differences with different combos. Anyone else of the same opinion?

Sorry about the blow by blow but it is really nice to ber able to talk to you guys about it.

[AJ]

I'm glad you are able to give a 'blow by blow'. Sometimes we need to do that and this is the place for it. I've certainly had my own long thread of continuing saga.

[paul m]

Hello Leila63. I glad your doing ok and I'm sorry your sister is having problems.

It took me a long time to accept that I was as ill as I was. After all, I had ups and downs since I was a kid and always handled it, so why couldn't I handle it in my 40s without meds. Not good logic, but I distincly remember thinking that just before I flushed all my meds once.

Some people handle antipsychotics just fine. Not me. I only take them for as short of time as I can. Large doses of them make my life totally not worth living and more than once I quit taking them. Fortunately I found a doc that convinced me to take them until my brain healed after a bad episode and then promised to switch me to other meds.

I'm telling you the above not to scare or worry you. Those were my reactions and I'm sure that her docs are very much aware of all those things. Docs have a way of cutting through my BS and lies and I'm sure they will with hers as well. Take Care. paul m

[gtchamp]

I'm in agreement with AJ. I love reading your "blow by blow". Goodness knows I have one going right now.

I really feel for your sister right now. I remember how scared I was when I was first diagnosed and then when I was in the hospital. I was really in denial but I knew something was weird. Then I would convince myself, this is silly, everyone has moments like this. Then another time, reality would set in and I would say...ok, that isn't normal. I was all over the map. Family wasn't alot of help cause they were all confused too. Good thing she has you that understands but I agree, you have to keep yourself well. I think distance is good, then when you do go in, you can go in strong and ready.

Good luck.
Tracey

[Woody]

Recovery is seldom a linear process. It is a mixture of progress and defeats. I think your right, now that the cat is out of the bag, there should be no going back now.

When your weening off a medication, the rule of thumb is if you increase it by lets say 25mg every 2 week, then you would decrease it by 25mg every 2 week. Now thats just the rule of thumb, when you start decreasing your dosage and you find that your having more or less side effects, you might want to take that into consideration and adjust accordingly. When your talking to your Pdoc about stopping the Zyprexa, you might want to keep this in mind. When ever I talk to my Pdoc about changing meds, we always talk about contingency plans if things do not work as expected.

Keep us up to date

[leila63]

Thanks to all with your stories of acceptance. It gives me hope that Tracy will also.

Funny thing about me, I always knew there was something wrong. When Prozac came out I got myself down to my GP and got me some. Well you can imagine how it turned out. If Tracy is going to be not doing so well right now at least the drugs available now are a lot better. Lucky for all of us.

[paul m]

Hello Leila63. I do agree that "compentent" docs do have more tools to work with than yrs ago. They have more drugs and there is more information about them readily available than even 20 years ago. They also know a lot more about the bad side of drugs. For example some people rapid cycle on antidepressants. 20 yrs ago this was known, but only by a few docs.

I always new something was wrong too, but I just thought I had a whole lot of short comings. (family influence)

Your sister is lucky to have people like you around. When my son was in the hospital(once for 13 wks) not one of aunts or uncles or his grandparents went to visit him. Some lived as close as 20 minutes away .

Keep looking after yourself. Take Care. paul m

[Woody]

Nope ... I was super Woody

Tracy was originally medicated and somewhat stable right? If so has she given any indications as to why she went off her meds?

[A.E.V.]

hi leila,
just back and catching up on this thread. I'm very glad your sister is getting the help she needs!
what I'd like to know right now, how was your pdoc appointment today? how are you doing?

Anne.

[leila63]

Hi All

Paul, you're so right. Thank God their a good drugs and that there has been progress in the theories about psych disorders. I wouldn't be here if I hadn't met the right pdoc and the right drug in '98.

Woody, Tracy lives about 4 1/2 hrs drive from here so family down here hadn't seen her. She told her family she was taking her meds but we know now she hasn't seen her pdoc since September. Her immediate family may be in a position now to see some things in hindsight and thankfully the doctors have conducted phone interviews with her husband and one of my nieces. She did have an attempt and 3 week hospitalization last summer so that is 3 hospitalizations and 2 attempts in less than a year.

Latest thing, she appears to be trying to escape the ward. First with one of my stepsisters and I, when we took her down for a smoke she suggested we leave and she'd go back up herself. Needless to say we didn't. She tried this with two other visitors. Today she phoned my stepmom, just to say she loved her and mentioned that she had been to group and occupational therapy (which she hadn't) and that she'd been given 2 1/2 hour passes on her own (which she hadn't). My stepmom got suspicious and phoned the nursing station and I can't imagine how she feels being lied to even given Tracy's current situation. I hear she is also repeatedly asking for her coat and boots. The doctors are indicating that they are revisiting her bipolar dx. Can't blame them for the orrignal dx since before family knew of her delusions but she never said a peep to the doctors. Hope those ant-psychotics kick in soon.

Anne, thanks for asking about the pdoc. After some arm twisting I got him to agree to put the Zyprexa from 10mg to 7.5mg. It was kinda funny because he asked me if it was sedating and I told him, well I've been on it since '98, how could I tell. Since being on Lamactil, I haven't been getting my period. (Have heard on CrazyMeds that it can affect your hormones- he said check it out with my GP) Anyway, I said "Maybe I'm pregnant" and he was flabbergasted and speechless before I told him I was joking. Patient 1, pdoc 0!!!!

PS Anne, inspired by you I asked my pdoc about CBT and he is referring me to one paid for by Alberta Health Care. Bonus!!!!

[paul m]

Hello Leila63 98 must have been a good year, I met my best shrink around then. But it took him a long time to unscrew my mind and then start screwing it back in properly. Unfortuantely he retired.

I think I mentioned this before, but in case I haven't, both my son Tommy and I were accomplished liars when we were ill. The sad part is neither of is anything like that when normal. So we both live with the added pressure of knowing how we abused peoples trust in the past. It is a horrible feeling when your a trustworthy person to know that you've lost everybodies trust.

The only good thing about two suicide attempts is docs tend to view your case a little more seriously. One problem with antipsychotics is everybody has a different tolerance. One person will be a zombie on 400 mg of seroquel and the next on 800 mg is like the energizer bunny. So docs have to go slow. They would like your sis to come down to normal. If they bring her down too fast she will just be tranquilzed into submission and that doesn't work either.

In regards to your comment to your doc about zyprexa and sedating . It's always nice to stop your doc cold, good for you . Good for you to get a refferal to a CBT course. Take Care. paul m

[AJ]

Good one Leila. Sorry Paul but that's one lie you wouldn't get away with.

[leila63]

Glad you got a kick out of my pdoc visit. He's a very nice guy and has a killer instinct of what will work medication wise. He must be ADD though, and I have learned to never talk to him when he is writing a script and double check it before I go because otherwise he will miss a drug or mess up dosages. Last month he must have taken the wrong prescription pad out of the supply cabinet since all my drug labels showed another doctor's name. Even with his quirks, he is a good guy and has helped me a lot. I think he's a keeper!

Saw Tracy today. She seems more alert and is making eye contact which she wasn't doing before. She did ask if the bad people had hurt anyone in the family yet so I wrote a note to the doctor and the nurse said she'd put it on the chart. Tracy is stonewalling the doctors and if she finds out she's going to be mad but it is just too important that her doctors know what's going on. Tracy showed us her medication list and she's taking an SSRI, Seroquel 250mg and 6 mg of Resperidal. Goggle says that's the max dose of Resperidal. I hope this works and that they keep her more than the 30 days if ithe drugs haven't all kicked in by then. I'm just so worried about compliance. Anybody know how common it is for an extension on what we here in Alberta call a 'formal patient'? I guess just want to prepare myself.