Sigh

[Christina]

Hope you feel better before then AJ. Sending good wishes/prayers your way

[AJ]

Thanks Christina

[Determined]

The fun never ends huh AJ? Are you getting your pipes checked for preventative reasons (like I should have done six months ago). It is an enormous amount of effort trying to maintain our health that's for sure.

[AJ]

Yup, the fun never ends. I'm having an echo because of shortness of breath that may not be related to my asthma. They already did a lung X-Ray to make sure there's nothing going on there. I'm waiting for results.

It turns out that the timing will work out and I can still see my Pdoc on Monday. She's away for a few weeks after that. I hope things have improved by Monday.

[Determined]

Well, it's always good to get things checked out. An ounce of prevention and all that. I trust everything will turn out fine and it's great that you still get to see your pdoc. It can get a little stressful trying to coordinate appointments and such. They always seem to fall on the same day.

In the meantime you will be in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself.

[AJ]

Thanks Determined.

[AJ]

Saw my Pdoc yesterday. She prescribed Clonazepam to get me sleeping again. I hate taking it. It makes me feel stoned in the morning. Even with it on board, I was awake at 4:30 AM!

I called the distress center today. I've never called one before but I felt kind of desperate. I was in a mixed state before today, now I'm just very depressed.

[uni]

Was the distress center of any help AJ?

[AJ]

I talked to them briefly and asked them about sending out the Mobile team but then I decided not to have them transfer the call. If I told them how I'm honestly feeling they would have come and hauled my sorry ass to the hospital.

[Determined]

Are you feeling any better AJ?

[Fighting back]

I talked to them briefly and asked them about sending out the Mobile team but then I decided not to have them transfer the call. If I told them how I'm honestly feeling they would have come and hauled my sorry ass to the hospital.

Did not know it was getting this bad. Hang in there AJ.

[Christina]

Hi AJ. Hang in there. Lack of sleep is so horrible to deal with. Its no wonder you now feel depressed.
I'm no doctor but I didn't think clonazepam was used as a sleep aid- I used it in the past for anxiety. What really helped me sleep was trazodone. It was trial and error with different meds but you will find one to get you back on track again.
Nobody wants to go to the hospital but sometimes its necessary for reviews of meds or whatever. Please don't feel bad or beat yourself up if that's what ensues.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[paul m]

Hello AJ. Sorry that you are feeling so rough. I have prescriptions for both clonazepam and lorazepam. When I have trouble sleeping, I prefer the lorazepam because it is much shorter acting and doesn't leave me as zonked out in the morning.

If I'm really behind in my sleep and agitated, I take a strong dose of the clonazepam. I feel zonked in the morning, but sometime we have to break the lack of sleep cycle otherwise we just continue to go downhill.

Better to be zonked for a few days than to have to go to the hospital for a week. Take Care. paul m

[AJ]

Thanks everybody for your support. It means the world to me.

I went to a play out of town last night with some friends. It was a comedy, a silly one, but distracting.

I'm on Clozapine, which zonks most people out, but not me in the last while. I took clonazepam last night and did have a 6 hr sleep, although it was interrupted.

The sleep helped my mood somewhat. I don't feel quite as desperate today, although the desperation comes in waves. This rollercoaster ride has been a rough one.

[Christina]

Good to hear AJ!!

Sounds like you had a nice evening with friends and you got a decent night's sleep.