rough day

[Froggie]

I feel like venting. Not much constructive to say today. It was a cloudy rainy dreary day. I hit the snooze too many times and got up 2 hours late. Bad start. I felt groggy all day and just could not shake the fuzz out of my head. I don't know why - I did not take my meds too late - I took them at 9pm like usual. I managed to get "up" for a lunch meeting with a business associate (after splashing cold water on my face).
The day was a real waste...got nothing accomplished.
When I got home, I got on the phone and proceeded to call several family memmbers and I picked fights with them (in retrospect I see that now - it was not on purpose then). I was venting to them. I don't know what set me me off. I don't know why i was upset. Or why I am so upset right now.
I owe 2 apologies now. I hate when I am like this. I do not like myself when I am like this.

[uni]

Hello Froggie. Thanks for sharing about your less-than-wonderful day. Boy, can I relate. You have just described numerous days of my own, almost to a T. (with the exception of the business associate). Sounds like you are perfectly human, if you ask me. Some days just suck.

Oh, and the part about apologizing - yep, me too. Hate having to do it, but feel even worse if I don`t.

May the days ahead be better.

[Woody]

You know Froggie I have stopped trying to figure out those days ... I usually tend to avoid people. I could barely stand myself so imagine other people. My old roommates where warned that if I just walked past them to go for my smoke and did not respond to conversations that they were not to take it personally as I was just having a bad day. I spent the day waiting for it to end in the hopes that tomorrow would be better.
Not very incouraging but sometime you have to waid through the ~S~ to get to the greener pastures.

[RANO]

hi froggie

this is THE place to vent. ICAN RELATE TO WHAT YOU RFEELING.i tell my family to stay away from me when i m like that or dont blame me for what i said.days like that dont last for ever thay do get better.trust me i v there n back many many times over the yrs.hope the next day is better.good luck.

[paul m]

Hello Froggie. Those types of days are pretty tough. I hate them too.

When I feels lousy, feeling bad about missing appointments etc just slows my recovery, makes me harder to get along with and then I feel guilty about that behaviour too and it goes on and on.

Speaking just for myself, it took me a long time to fully accept that I've an illness that I cannot always control even when I do everything right. Sometimes I have to bow to the irressitable force and stay in bed, or I wind up ill for days.

I have come to accept that. Sometimes I have to just roll over and re-set the alarm for a couple of hours later. Fortunately I can do that, not everybody can.

I still don't feel great, but at least I am not starting my day by feeling guilty because I can't get up.

Plus remember if for whatever reason your kidney or liver function changes temporarily(and they do) you can end up with too much or too little meds in your system for a short time, thus causing you to feel lousy.

I hope you feel better soon. Take Care. paul m

[uni]

Hi Paul. You mention that kidney or liver function may change temporarily and possibly affect the amount of medication in one's system. I have never heard that said before (or at least don't remember it). Are there any particular reasons for such changes? And what would be considered temporary?

Woody, I like what you said about having stopped trying to figure out those days. Sounds like that in itself could reduce some stress/guilt.

Rano, good to hear from you again.

[Woody]

I am not a religous person but seem like just about every other support group that I have attended in the past use this somewhere as part of the opening

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference."

[Woody]

oops another piece of wisdom

You can only bang your head against the wall for so long before it starts to hurt

[paul m]

Hello Uni. A simple example would be a minor kidney infection that you are unaware of will have an effect on meds that are metabolized through the Kidneys. I take 1800 mg a day of lithium. If for any reason I do not get rid of it fast enough, it will built up in my body and quickly starts to make me feel really lousy.

In fact literature reports that if one starts to get headaches and nausea(while taking lithium), you should try drinking more water first to see if that cures the problem, but any minor variation in kidney function will cause problems. Actually any flu or virus can upset our blood chemistry causing problems.

Most drug reactions are very minor, our kidneys etc usually have lots of surplus ability, but when we feel like crude and we've done everything right, sometimes looking at our meds as a cause can help us find the answer. Take Care. paul m

Hello Woody. I agree(about banging your head). Sometimes its he simple advice thats the best.. Take Care. paul m

[leila63]

Dear Froggie

I hope you are feeling better and have patched things up with the family. When I have a bad day, bipolar wise, I can get totally bitchy with my family and then I regret it so much I end up apologizing from the floor. The good thing is that the people we love know it is just a passing thing and pretty soon we will be back to being who we are, can show them we love them, and doing all the things we do for them that they love us for. One bad day doesn't undo all the good days.

So take it easy on yourself Froggie. After all, even those non bipolars have bad days too.

[VillaStraylight]

I am VERY happy that I hate talking on the phone. When I get into one of those moods where I want to jump out of my skin or yell obscenities out my window or kick people or use my sarcastic wit for evil, I just have to contain myself until I get home and then I'm safe because there is NO way that I will pick up the phone. The people in my life who communicate with me primarily via the Internet are people who actually get it...so I can come online to rant and vent without too many repercussions!

Thanks everyone for being here!

[paul m]

Hello Villa. Thankyou for being here.

People who know me wonder why my phone almost always goes to the answering machine. I rarely tell them it's because I need to work up my strength and calmness to deal with people in a calm and rational manner before I call them back. While my brother/ sis-in-law/ neighbor/ telemarketer may think what they have to say is of utmost importance, its usually of importance only to them and for some reason I'm the a***** e even when I'm right. Take Care. paul m

Hello Froggie. I was away for a couple of days and so I may have missed a few posts, but I hope that you are ok. Take Care. paul m

[Woody]

I when for the longest time where if I could not turn off the ringer on the phone, it would get disconnected.

Now I have Call display and I pick and choose who and when I want to talk to who.

[A.E.V.]

here's a rough day for you...

I received a phone call at lunch to let me know that I've been laid off... small package included, but we all know it won't go very far.
I knew the company had done it before, but I really didn't think that you could be laid off during sick leave.......

I loved my job so much and was looking forward to going back in November. Now, I have nothing to look forward to. blech.

[AJ]

I'm so sorry to hear that. I don't know what the labour laws are with regards to lay offs and sick leave. Have you phoned the Labour relations board (not sure of the exact name)? Might be worth a call.