In late 2009, I was doing my graduate studies at McGill when I first experienced mental illness. I thought the government was watching me. I was suspicious of other students and lab-mates. I thought these people were trying to frame for a crime that I didn’t commit. I was sure that others were trying to harm or kill me. I was anxious and scared for my life.
I was later hospitalized and diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. After being discharged, I was very depressed that I couldn’t finish my degree and that I now have a mental disorder. I lost my self-confidence and felt like I was a failure. I also gained 30 lbs from the psych meds. Not only did I feel bad, but I was starting to look bad too.
After recovering from my second episode in 2014, I started to think about doing photography. Something I really enjoyed in high school. I bought my first entry-level DSLR camera in 2015. I started taking pictures of plants, flowers, and buildings.
In the winter of 2018, I took a photo of an American Robin and quickly fell in love with bird photography. I loved capturing new birds and learning their names and some facts about them. I later got a longer lens that allowed me capture distant birds.
I was thrilled to be outdoors in the wooded areas, enjoying the fresh air and taking photos of birds and other living things. Coming home and uploading my photos onto my laptop was always so exciting. I also loved editing photos and posting them on social media, where I often got positive responses.
Then in 2017, I dealt with anxiety that was so bad that it made me gag. I discovered that when I did photography that that all went away. I had found something that helped with my many mental illnesses.
I also enjoyed looking at other people’s photos. I was inspired to get fitter after seeing photos of bodybuilders and other fitness enthusiasts on Instagram. I started eating better and working out more seriously and I lost all of my excess weight. I started to look better and feeling better.
Doing photography has made me so happy. It gives me the opportunity to enjoy nature, learn about wildlife and plants. It has helped me feel confident that I can create something that could be seen as beautiful.
When I’m taking photos, I forget that I have a serious mental illness. I have no worries, no fear, no sadness. I’m truly blessed that I have a hobby that gives me so much joy and fulfillment. It has enriched my life in so many ways.
In addition to photography, I also love web design. It lets me combine art and design, imagery, including photography, and technology to create a visual communication tool. After obtaining a certificate in Web Design, I worked for a year to gain relevant experience.
Arm with this new design experience, I was now capable of making impactful websites. I genuinely wanted to share how photography has helped me cope with my mental illness and potentially help others benefit from it as well. So, I created a website on this very topic. The website I created is called Helpful Photo (https://helpfulphoto.ca). My goal in creating this project is to help those with mental illness find joy and confidence in this wonderful art form.
Photography has changed and improved my life for the better. My wish is that others will get the same benefit from it as I have.
