by Rougayyah J.
The day has finally arrived. A moment I had been waiting for since I entered my first year lecture hall. The end of undergrad. I had been counting down the days so eagerly, checking off every date in my calendar and marking the end of each semester. Well, here we are, the end.
The feeling is bittersweet. As I watch my friends embark on their new journey to grad school, move to different cities and begin a new chapter, I come to a realization that things will change. The 8:30 am classes on campus we all dreaded so much, and the commute that felt like forever and a half became a memory I longed to experience once more. The late night study sessions and Tim Horton’s coffee runs felt nostalgic all over again. A part of myself wishes I could go back to savor all those moments and be present – less focused on my next chapter.
I smile and nod to family and friends as they ask about my plans for the upcoming year. What are you up to now that you are done your degree? Any plans? What is next? In all honesty, I was just as curious as they were. What is my next chapter? I had a million ideas but was left puzzled each and every time. Should I go to grad school next year? Travel? The options were endless, but I always found myself back at square one.
I was someone that always had a plan. Complete step A to get to step B, C and so fourth. I quickly learned that life does not simply function that way. Life is not linear. Each milestone does not have to be achieved at a certain time frame/age. That so-called timeline is different for every one of us. It is full of bumps, twists and turns – and sometimes the milestones come in different orders than we had planned.
I was able to overcome some anxiety regarding future plans by making small and attainable goals. For example, I would make to do lists for every day tasks related to work and school. In addition, I also began creating vision boards. This process was exciting and therapeutic as I was able to envision different aspects of my life without limitations. It also helped me gain clarity on what would best serve me purpose – from my career, to personal goals. I also practiced mindfulness techniques by truly living in the moment (something I had been lacking over the years) and paying attention to my surroundings. I was able to ground myself amidst my racing thoughts.
The future can be scary. Is it because of the uncertainty that follows it? However, that is also the beauty of life. The unknowns and surprises are endless. We may walk and experience unique paths that we would have never fathomed or experienced if everything had gone according to our ‘’own plan’’.
