by Jamie G.
What is rebellion? Rebellion is the resistance, the open demonstration of disagreement with the institution or power that dictates what is allowed. Historically resistances have been ways for average people to try and evoke social or political change in times where it felt like all agency was lost. Rebellion has not always been something inherently negative. Stepping outside of the societal or social box can be a great way to find your individuality and define your own personal values.
Then why is rebellion thought of in such a negative way? Modern depictions of rebellion often display a teenager who is off the rails- dressed in all black, smoking cigarettes, vandalizing property, and stealing from the local stores. All these tropes could comfortably fit under the general umbrella of counter culture, but they demonstrate the extreme side of rebellion that can be destructive externally and internally. Depicting rebellion in this way may be a tactic, a way to send the implicit message that rebellion is not okay. A scare tactic to perpetuate the idea that all rebellion will lead to jail, death or social alienation.
While some forms of rebellion are senselessly violent and destructive, not all of them have to be. Wanting to be rebellious is a common and natural part of the human experience. Rebellious impulses can be part of some people’s personality and even the way they identify, the way they conceptualize themselves. Finding healthy ways to express one’s rebellious nature should be the center of this debate, not how to censor desires that are innately human.
Alternate Rebellion is a DBT distress tolerance skill that is based in mindfulness practices. DBT is a type of therapy called Dialectical Behavioural Therapy that combines change and acceptance strategies taught through skill development. Alternative rebellion skills help people with a rebellious nature find less destructive ways to act out rebellious impulses by finding creative ways to go against the grain; creative ways to demonstrate counter culture ideals and values.
Here are two of my favourite ways to demonstrate my rebellion in a positive way
- Be honest instead of polite
Politeness and etiquette are often associated with an unspoken order, a social rule that is understood by everyone. By being honest, you might shock people by instigating deeper connections, thoughts and conversations. Politeness could be seen as passive, it is a way of not disturbing the natural order. Being honest is a way to disrupt that natural order, the natural balance. This is not to say you should be rude, instead be unfiltered.
For example, I was at a fancy restaurant the other day and the waiter kept calling the condiments “accutroments”.
I found that quite interesting so instead of just saying thank you, I added “ Do your employers require you to use that word when talking to guests?”.
The waiter laughed and told me it was a requirement of the job to use elevated language. This spurred a conversation on the morphing of personality and demeanor that is required when working at some jobs in high class establishments. Moral of the story, being brutally honest can lead to connecting with people on a deeper level and having thought provoking conversations that question the social norms we are all too well acquainted with.
- Dye your hair, get pierced, get tattooed
Social standards and norms extend far past the etiquette of social interactions. How people dress and present themselves can also be an expression of the degree to which they conform. Conformity means adjusting to the norm, blending in, even doing what is expected. Comparatively, having purple hair, tons of tattoos and visible piercings is a way to say I am not afraid to be different, I am not afraid to live in opposition with societal norms. While this may be a little extreme for some people, other people find it a great way to build an identity that speaks to the counterculture community.
Now I leave you with a more comprehensive list of ways to productively and respectively act out those rebellious desires.
- Leave things out of place
- Do things out of order
- Do things out of character
- Run instead of walk
- Get a radical haircut
- Choose mediocrity rather than drama
- Challenge statements when you disagree
- Speak out rather than stay quiet
- Vocally advocate for an issue you care deeply about
- Shout or scream alone
- Buy something impractical
- Dress up for a casual event or down for a fancy event
- Break out of the roles expected of you
Rebellion doesn’t have to be dangerous or violent or aggressive. Rebel against the idea of rebellion by making rebellion something creative, individualistic and positive. Define yourself by how you are different and how you can add to the world, not by how much you look like or talk like the people most prominent in the media. Rebellion is a way to say I see the social order and in many ways I disagree with it. Step outside of the box and see where alternative forms of rebellion can take you.
Alternate rebellion techniques taken from https://dbtselfhelp.com/dbt-skills-list/distress-tolerance/alternate-rebellion/
