While there is no doubt that the person who is experiencing depression is suffering, those who care for them are also in pain.

Families and caregivers who have lived through the depression of a loved one have developed ideas about what does and does not work for them. Here are their suggestions:

Educate Yourself

Families and friends need to know all about depression too, its symptoms and treatments.

This Is an Illness

People with depression can’t pull themselves up by their boot straps.

Go Ahead and Deal with the Practical

People with depression are not capable (at the time) of dealing with complicated plans or long conversations. Families and friends want to involve their depressed loved ones in decisions, but that may not be possible. It is a difficult calculation for families – to judge between taking too much control and taking not enough.

Avoid Trying to Reason People Out of Their Negative Feelings and Beliefs

People in the depths of depression do not respond to reason. However, if the person is expressing ideas about harming themselves, they must know that family or friends will intervene by taking them to a physician or the emergency department. In extreme situations, it may be necessary to call 911 – if the danger is imminent.

Take Care of Yourself

Families and friends suffer too. They need their own circle of supports and possible treatment for their mental health. There are self-help groups, especially for families and friends, where they can get advice, receive support from others who are going through what they are and exchange tips on coping mechanisms.

For more helpful information, visit DepressionHurts.ca.

A special note for family members or friends who wish to know the details of their adult loved one’s treatment from mental health professionals: They must obtain signed permission from their loved one under the provisions of the Mental Health Act in their province or territory. Mental health professionals may not share information about a client’s treatment (outside the treatment team) without written permission from the client. Check with your province’s legislation to see what the requirements are in your area.